Unfiltered Story #32157

Unfiltered | October 13, 2015

I used to work at a special needs school with a group of teenagers. They had mainly emotional problems, but some of them had intellectual ones as well. Student #2 was 18 years old, but had the emotional intelligence of maybe an 8 year old. Student #1 had normal intellect. It was my 25th birthday.

Student #1: So how old are you turning, like 40??? (laughs)

Me: *Sarcastically* No, student #1, I’m actually turning 50!!

Student #2: REALLY?? Wow (my name) you look really good for 50!! Like only like 40 or so!

Me and Student #2 die laughing, along with some other teachers. Probably its good that that happened when I was 25 instead of 35!

Unfiltered Story #27885

Unfiltered | October 13, 2015

We were out at the beach with friends. We went to a friends house to cook, the girls still wanted to go to bars and clubs so some are getting showered and dressed.

Girl 1 walks into the kitchen only in a towel, she is a bit drunk

Girl 2: “what are you doing, you should be wearing cloths! all the guys are in here”

Girl 1: “What why, I am more covered up than my bikini!” she drinks some beer and turns to go, the towel slips a bit

Girl 2: “‘girl 1’ cover up and get dressed”

Guy 1: “yup that happens”

Girl 3 staring as girl 1 walked back down the hall: “yea that did…”

Unfiltered Story #47583

Unfiltered | October 13, 2015

(During a Christmas lunch with a few aunts, uncles and cousins, the subject of boys is brought up regarding my 9-year-old cousin…)

Me: “So your mum tells me you’re chasing boys now!”

Cousin: *shakes her head fervently*

Her Mum: “She chases all the boys!”

Cousin: “Well, I chase boys…and then I pinch them!”

(…I wonder if I’ve been a bad influence, as I was exactly like her at that age!)

Unfiltered Story #56610

Unfiltered | October 12, 2015

(I’m returning to the office with one of the foremen after a prospection on a construction site. The foreman’s cellphone rings.)

Caller: “Hello, This is [equipment rental company]. I’ve been given this number from your office regarding the rental of the diesel generator. What address do we have to bring the equipment?”

Foreman: “How should I know? Why are you even calling me? You need to talk to [company owner]!”

(The address was, of course, the place we were returning from, after having discussed at length the technical details of the intervention, including the placement of the diesel generator…)

Unfiltered Story #66971

Unfiltered | October 12, 2015

I get the strangest phone calls during third shift at the gas station. Case in point:

Teen girl: Hi… do you guys deliver condoms?

Me: Uh… no. We sell them, but we don’t deliver.

Teen girl: How much are they?

Me: We have a three pack for $4.26.

Teen girl: Um… that’s a bit high. Can’t you knock it down a notch for me?

Me: No, not really. All we have is the three pack.

Teen girl: I only need one, though. Do you have any personal condoms I can have?

Me: Uh… no. Sorry.

Teen girl: Well, I don’t use condoms. Bye. *click*