(I work at a craft store “Where Creativity Happens”, but recently our competitor that sells fabric opened up near mine. Since I am a huge crafter, I went to the grand opening to purchase fabric. I must also add that I have blue hair, and am fairly easily identifiable)

Me: *waiting in line for the cutting counter*

Customer: EXCUSE ME! *grabs my arm* Where are your buttons?”

Me: I’m sorry Ma’am, I don’t work here-

Customer: THAT’S BULLS***, I KNOW YOU WORK AT A CRAFT STORE,SO YOU KNOW!

Me: I work at the other one!

Customer: Then why are you here?!

Me: Because I’m buying fabric?

I’m a cashier at a big chain store in our town, and this day, I’m ‘babysitting’ the self checkouts. I’m standing there, watching the machines. We have one down and two that are card only at the time, and I usually try to catch customers before they start, and tell them, even though the machine states it clearly before the transaction starts. Being card only, the machines can’t give cash back. A lady comes up, and I watch her start scanning her items. She’s been there for maybe three minutes when my machine beeps an error. I walk over and swipe my badge on the one she’s using. Her: “I don’t know what happened, I’ve been calling for help for the last five minutes!” I try not to roll my eyes at this because if she had called me for help on the system, my machine would have told me, and she obviously hadn’t said anything. Me: “Well, this machine is card only, so it won’t take cash or give it back.”
I correct the problem with the press of a button.
Her: “Well, I think someone should have told me before I started checking out.” Everything I’ve said has been in a flat, even, emotionless voice. I was pregnant at the time and my thoughts were on my break and food. Me: “It says it before you start. You have to press the Yes button to continue…” She mumbles something and storms off with her items. I call after her: “Have a nice day!” Ten minutes later I see her walking away from the Customer Service desk. She had only bought some jerky, so I know she wasn’t making a return! I still don’t know if she was trying to get me written up.

Me: (On the phone) Hello, sporting goods department, can I help you?
Customer: Yeah I was wondering if you guys had a certain jet ski part?
Me: Oh, no I’m sorry, we don’t carry those
Customer: But you can order it for me right?
Me: No, it’s not something this company sells. We can’t get it for you
Customer: Okay, well I’ll just come in and we’ll talk about ordering that part okay?

He hung up before I could explain again that we could not order this part for him

I work at a store that asks us to help customers pro-actively, such as when they look lost, unsure, etc.  I saw a customer standing at the front of one of our aisles looking dazedly up at the signs for the aisles that tell you what is in them, so I approach the customer.

Me: Can I help you find anything todayÉ

Customer: Yes.

Customer then turned her back on me and walked away.

Hostess: (In Italian) Hello sir, welcome to [Name of Restaurant]!
Customer: (In English) God d*****, speak English for god’s sake! Stop this barbaric dead language!
Hostess: (switching to English) I’m sorry sir, but this is Rome, and most people here speak Italian.
Customer: Why? They should speak the good, proper language of English, not this freak stuff.
Hostess: But sir, we are in Italy. Most everyone here speaks the language of our country.
Customer: Well they shouldn’t. They’re just dumb to not learn our language as well as their own.
Hostess: Well sir, how many languages do you know?
Customer: Just English. Good old English, like we all should.
Hostess: Well I’m sorry sir, but we cannot serve bigoted a**holes. Goodbye