A customer walks in and I give her the standard greeting and offer of samples. She orders for her dad and I make her order.

Me: Anything else?
Customer: I want the dulce sundae *points to the menu board*
Me: Just like the picture?
Customer: Yes

I make the sundae exactly like it is in the picture. The customer watches me scoop the first layer of dulce ice cream, add caramel, and sliced bananas. She then watches me scoop a second scoop, and finally a third, while saying nothing.

Me: It’s going to be *total*
Customer: *to her dad* She didn’t let me choose my flavors!
Me: Did you want me to remake it?
Customer: *ignores me* They always let me choose my flavors, but she didn’t let me choose my flavors!
Customer’s dad: Just take it!

(I was working on the floor of a store selling video games, where guys being creepy to women is unfortunately not uncommon. I’m a small woman myself and end up on the receiving end of it pretty often, so I’m very sympathetic to female customers dealing with creeps. A couple come in and are standing near the door with the man talking to my coworker while his girlfriend stood nearby waiting.

Another man from outside spots them and suddenly makes a beeline over. While the boyfriend is still distracted talking to my coworker, this man stands uncomfortably close to the woman and stares her down.)

Woman: …Can I help you?

(The man doesn’t say anything, just continues standing in her personal bubble and staring. Her boyfriend went to make a purchase and she tries following him towards the register, but the other man steps in her way repeatedly and just keeps staring. I cut between them to give the woman a chance to escape.)

Me: Hi, welcome to [Store]! Can I help you find anything today?

(The woman took that moment he was looking at me to dart around him and follow her boyfriend, and the man waves me off and immediately chases her. She whirls around, clearly tense and freaked out.)

Woman: Would you leave me alone?!

(I’m already following, mildly panicking thinking I’m going to have to kick this man out of the store or call security. The boyfriend finally turns around and grins.)

Boyfriend: DUDE! Hey man, how’ve you been?!

(They laugh and hug, apparently old friends, and the man starts telling him how freaked out his girlfriend had looked. Me and this poor woman just spent the rest of that interaction giving each other exhausted looks, clearly less amused by this guy’s idea of a “prank”.)

(I work for a company that sends out a holiday book that can only be mailed. With 10 minutes to go in my 12 hour shift, this is my last call)
Me: Thank you for calling, (Company). My name is (name). How can I help you today.
Customer: I would like to order one of the holiday books, please.
Me: Certainly. Can I have your name?
(Gives name)
Me: Thank you. Where would you like the book sent?
Customer: Oh, I don’t know the address.
Me: *facepalm*

(I’m the customer here.) I go to a local bakery because I have a coupon for a free sandwich and decide I want soup also.

Me: I’d like a bowl of soup, please. What are your soups of the day?

Cashier points to 5 signs RIGHT above his head: Well, we have…

I interrupt: Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’ve just become *that* customer.

Thankfully the cashier laughed and reassured me, but as a former retail worker myself, I’m still embarrassed.

(It’s my first day working at a popular hardware store. I wasn’t directly involved with this customer, but I gathered all the information I could.)

So the customer walks in the day before with the usual demeanor of ‘I’m more important than you’. He goes through the store and gathers 3 carts of assorted items. This guy had stuff from EVERY department.

Once he gets to the registers, the cashier scans their items and lets them know it’s ready for him to pay. He tries his card. Nothing. Take two. Nothing. Take three. Nothing.

In a fit, he leaves the three carts at the register and goes away. The head cashier thinks nothing of it.

The next day, my first day, I’m standing at my register while training under a more experienced cashier. And then the phone rings.

I find out the call was short and ‘sweet’.

Customer: I am coming over there. And my stuff had BETTER be there.

So now, the associates that are available scramble to get as much of that stuff back together as they can. Obviously by the time he gets here, they haven’t gotten everything. So now he’s MAD.

Eventually they get everything together and get him checked out and get him OUT of the store. As he was leaving, I double take. He looked very similar to a character from a movie.

And thus the customer became known as Hellmitch Abern-A-Hole