Unfiltered Story #66984

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(I was stocking the shelves of the small-sized supermarket I work in when a strange-looking customer approached me).

Customer: Exshush me, I’m lookin for the throileth trush.

Me: What?!

(I wasn’t being rude, I really couldn’t understand him properly. After going back and forth a while, I decided to try something out)

Me: Sir, could you repeat what you said, just a little slower this time?

(The customer does exactly what I suggested)

Me: (slapping forehead) TOILET BRUSH!!!

Unfiltered Story #27898

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(Me and my friends are talking about what we’ll be doing at college. The college I wanted to go to you needed 5 Cs to do a B-Tech or 4 Bs to do A-Level. I was opting for A-Level)

Me: I’m going to do English at [College]

Friend: They don’t do English B-Tech

Me: I know I’m going to do it at A-Level

Friend: But you need 4 Bs to get into A-Level

Me: …I know

Friend: Do you really think you’ll get that?

Me: Umm….Yes

(I got 5 Bs, an A and an A*, getting onto my course easily. I usually quite good at school so I have no idea why she thought I wasn’t good enough to get onto A-Level)

Unfiltered Story #47595

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(Note: I run a small home business, so when anyone in my family needs any packaging, bubble wrap or envelopes, they always come right to me.)

Sister: “Hey, I need to mail something. Where do I put the sticker?”

Me: “The sticker?”

Sister: “Yeah, the.. The sticker!”

Me: “Do you mean the stamp?”

Sister: “Yes, the sticker thing!”

Me, bemused: “You’re twenty years old, shouldn’t you know this by now?”

Sister: “It’s not my fault snail mail is confusing!”

Unfiltered Story #56622

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(I need to replace some batteries. I go to the admin office.)

Me: Do we have any D batteries?

Admin: What are D batteries?

Me: Well, they’re about this long [indicating ~2″] and this wide [indicating ~1″].

Admin: I don’t think so, but if we have any, they’ll be on the second shelf.

(It takes me about 10 seconds to find some.)

Me: Here they are.

Admin: You said they were rectangular.

Me: No, I said how long and wide they were. They’re round just like most batteries. (Pause. Points to big letter clearly printed on pack of batteries.) D.

Admin: I’ll “D” you!

Me: (Grins, ducks and runs.)

Unfiltered Story #32168

Unfiltered | October 24, 2015

(When my grandparents and dad moved to the US from China they lived in a neighborhood with few Chinese families. One of them had the same last name as us. Note that most Chinese last names are very common and ours is one of the most common.)

Teacher: (dad’s full name)

Dad: Here!

Teacher: Are you (name) and (name2)’s brother? I thought it was them, no one talked about you.

Dad: I’m not.

Teacher: But you have the same last name.

Dad: In China, there are many same last names. There are 30 in my class, 5 have my last name.

Teacher: Really? That’s amazing.

Dad: Not to me.

Teacher: Well I learned something. We all did.

(The first time but not the last they were thought to be the same family.)