I work at a pharmacy, and this happens far more often then it should, but today, I just had enough.

Caller: I’m calling to see if the doctor called in my dad’s pain medication. His name is (name) and his birthday is (birthday)

Me: I see on his profile that we received a prescription, but it was put on hold. Give me just a second to see if I can see why.

It takes me just a few seconds to see the problem.

Me: Okay, I see the issue, it seems like its too soon to fill this medication. Because its a controlled substance we can only fill it one day before it runs out. We can fill this medication in two days.

Caller: But the doctor said he can take it as needed! How can you say he can’t get it if the doctor wrote it! He needs it! He’s out!

Me: The doctor wrote for him to take it every 6 hours, he can’t take more than that. ‘As needed’ means he doesn’t have to take it if he doesn’t need it, but he can’t take more than what the doctor wrote. If he needs it more than that he needs to talk to the doctor about changing it. As it is, we can fill it in two days.

Caller: (rather meekly) okay. (Hangs up)

I didn’t get in trouble, but I may have gone too far.

(This is an e-mail from a prospective student, by his own words from Kenya, to a well-known european university).

<b>Applicant: </b> Dear sir/madam I myself Am receive for ur massage (we had not sent any “massages or messages to this email) concerning for scholar sheep. I Am myself have conplated highly in Kenya so I myself Am requesting to get for ur university kindly assist and guide me and sheep. Myself Am I bright nad myself is I Am prefect in England language. You admit me myself Am happy. And myself scholar sheep have.

Oh god.. how to answer to a question which concerns mostly “sheep”…

*A couple of coworkers and I are working on getting a DND campaign going. I’d been having trouble figuring some of my stats so I’ve been chatting with the DM*

DM: I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s supposed to be. If not, we can update when I get back.

Me: Sounds good. I’m not too worried

DM: OH! [Spouse] is joining! She’s going to be a halfling barbarian!

Me: Ooh fun, barbarian! What’s the other half going to be?

DM: …

Me: WAIT! I figured it out.

DM: Think barbarian hobbit

Me: I know…it just took me a minute to get there.

DM: Lol

I happen to attend a college that is within a thirty minutes drive away for a three-year art program. Mind you, I’ve taken a few programs before, but that isn’t important right now. I’m also a rather modest guy.

Anyway, my professor gives us a twenty-minute break from our class lecture so I figured I’d use my cafe card at the cafe by the library. I bought the card and loaded it up yesterday, including setting up an account on it. I make my order and offer to use my card to pay for it, but the employee there refused it.

“We don’t accept gift cards,” she said.

This struck me as odd since the card didn’t have a pre-written value on the front like the vast majority of actual gift cards, but I pay for it by debit instead and get my order in a timely fashion. Once I get back to the classroom, I opt to ask a classmate if the card qualified as a “gift card”. She said it wasn’t; you load money on it and can pay for your orders with it. My response?

“That’s what I thought.”

I left a review on the location on google maps pointing this particular detail out. Hopefully, it wasn’t a repeat occurrence with this employee, but considering what kind of site this is you never know.

We have a female co-worker who is known in our office for two things- beings extremely bad at her job and being a religious maniac to the point of delusion. She’s gotten into some serious hot water recently for a number of outbursts such as telling a co-worker that her brother died because her family was Jewish and therefore ‘sinned against God!’ and she also told a gay co-worker that he would burn in hell for the sin of ‘being a f******’. However, her worst offence was when she called the cops on an openly lesbian manager claiming she was ‘grooming young girls for satan!’ Fed up of her behaviour, the boss told her she was on her last warning! One day I’m on my lunch break with a couple of others in the kitchen when suddenly we hear a loud shriek come from the office. Quickly we run in and find our religious co-worker brandishing my phone which has a picture of my two children in the background.

Me: (Religious Co-Worker) what’s wrong?

Religious co-worker: WHY ARE THERE PICTURES OF KIDS ON YOUR PHONE?

Me: Oh, that’s…

Religious co-worker: YOU PERVERT, DISGUSTING PAEDO- YOU’RE MOLESTING KIDS AREN’T YOU!

Me: Look, those are…

Religious Co-Worker: I HOPE THE LORD SENDS YOU TO PRISON AND SOMEONE CUTS YOUR F******** DICK OFF! YOU SICK PERVERT- I’LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED!

Co-worker: OH FOR F*** SAKE (Religious Co-Worker) THOSE ARE HIS KIDS!

Religious Co-worker: LIAR! HE’S NOT MARRIED- HE DOESN’T HAVE KIDS!

Me: Actually I do (grabs the phone) that’s my daughter (daughter’s name) whose 5, that’s my son (son’s name) whose two and a half! They’re mine and (girlfriend’s name)’s I assure you!

Suddenly she goes pale and her eyes start bugging out- I realise that another outburst is probably going to hit any moment.

Religious Co-Worker: So… you have kids but you’re not married!

Me: Well yes, me and (girlfriend’s name) aren’t really into marriage, we’ve been together for 13 years anyway.

Immediately she backs away and starts flapping her mouth like a fish, everyone around rolls their eyes in frustration.

Religious Co-Worker: D-DEVIL SPAWN! YOUR KIDS ARE DEVIL SPAWN- I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED FOR THIS!

She sprints into the manager’s office and we immediately hear her screaming and shouting about how I’ve brought the devil into the office and she wants me fired. Repeatedly the manager tells her to calm down but she continues to screech at a high volume of decibels and throw random bible quotes wherever she can. Suddenly we hear items being thrown and the sound of glass breaking. Within minutes we see security dragging her kicking and screaming out of the building still ranting loudly about the devil. The manager shortly afterwards that she had been terminated effective immediately. Apparently, her throwing a glass at his head was the final straw- she won’t be missed at all.