I went into a chain jewellery store, looking for a present for a friend. The highest value single item in the place was probably about £30, so this wasn’t exactly heist central. I’m the only customer in the shop. There are three associates behind the counter, a fact which was immediately obvious, given how otherwise empty the shop was.

Almost as soon as I walked in, one of the associates approached me, and said: “Hi! Can I help you look for anything?”

“No thanks,” I replied, “I’m just browsing at the moment.”

“Okay!” she said, and returned to her spot behind the counter.

Which would be fine, except for the fact that for the next few minutes, every minute or so, all three associates take turns with coming out from behind the counter, walking up to me (uncomfortably close) and trilling “Can I help you with anything?”

Every time, I responded with variations on “No thank you, I’m quite happy browsing,” eventually escalating to the dreaded heights of “NO thanks, I’m just browsing at the moment. I ASSURE you that I will let you know if I need your assistance.”

If I were anyone other than a straight-looking white girl, I would probably have suspected bigotry at this point, because it was that ridiculous. It was like an enemy spawn glitch.

And this wasn’t “Oh, I see you’re looking at our dragonfly necklace. Did you know we also have a matching bracelet?” No, this was full on “Can I help you?” as if they were on a carousel.

I did actually end up buying something, because I liked it. It was probably the cheapest thing in the shop. When I got home, I sent an email to their HQ, telling them that encouraging their floor employees to be friendly is all well and good, but they needed to stop requiring people to constantly approach people, and that it was actually very offputting.

(It’s Halloween, and I am home giving out candy. I LOVE Halloween, and as a result have decorated accordingly, putting freaky-looking jack-o-lanterns outside and hanging eldritch designs all over my front porch, before turning off all but one of the lights on my house. For my costume, I decorate my already-pale face with fake stitches before putting on a black robe and turn up jeans, so that I may appear suitably spooky. It’s also important to note that I am a naturally quiet and reserved person, and that I don’t like to raise my voice. Trick-or-treaters come and go, but one encounter stands out to me in particular. A young boy comes to the door, so I bring the candy bowl over.)

Boy: (not really paying attention to anything else but the bowl) “Trick-or-treat!”

Me: (in my naturally quiet voice) “Trick or treat.”

(The boy pauses before looking up at my face. His eyes widen)

Boy: (somewhat timidly) “Thank you.”

(He then dashes off to his mother in fear. It was another thirty seconds before I realized that I had frightened him with my “spooky” appearance. I feel a little bad, but I guess it is Halloween, so you’ve got to get scared at least once!)

(I worked at JTV from 2016-2018. when I first started working there, I noticed a really cute girl that also worked in the call center. I am awful at talking to women in general, but this one was exceptionally hard. nonetheless, I finally worked up the courage to introduce myself, but after our first meeting, my low self-esteem managed to convince me that A.) she was way out my league and/or would never go for me, and B.) she’s probably already taken or all of the above. That was in may; in about September, I wound up dating someone else that wound up being a terrible relationship. I broke things off right after Christmas, and then at the end of January 2017, cute girl found me and added me on facebook. it took me a few days, and in the end my friend had to be the one to send her the first message, but that ended up being the greatest decision of my life. We officially started dating in March, and are now a year and seven months into our relationship, and are almost ready to move into our first home together.

(We have an employee at our library that has been there for a very long time. As such, she feels the need to boss people around even though she is neither a supervisor nor a manager. I have had to go to the director numerous times because of the way she treats me and the younger staff. I’m technically directly under the director and in charge in the director’s absence. I’m also pregnant and haven’t been sleeping well. Because of that, I decide to spend half of my lunch hour napping in the staff lounge. It is very obvious that I am trying to sleep.)

Coworker: (Coming into the lounge.) You need to make sure that you go over to town hall tomorrow during your lunch break.

Me: (Looking up to see that she is indeed talking to me.) [Coworker], I’m trying to sleep.

Coworker: I know, but you need to go and get your insurance paperwork for dental.

Me: And I also got the email. (I put my head back down.)

Coworker: (Continuing in a condescending voice.) Well I just figured that since we had enough people you should make the time to get over there.

(I ignore her and try to go back to sleep. The kicker? Insurance sign ups were the following week, not the following day and the available time was outside of lunch hours. I had already planned to stop by before work to get what I needed done. Also, her husband was person who sent out the email!)

(A couple of years ago, my friends and I were playing D&D at their house. Over the course of one session, we picked up some loot. One of those items gave my character a bonus to stealth. Of course, being the crafty person I am, and having recently acquired a resin crafting kit, I decided to make a prop from the game. Cut to the next time I’m hanging out with them.)

Me: Check it out, I made the egg from our last session! *shows off a resin egg, tinted blue, with a silver filigree band created from bead caps and such*
Both Friends: *general words/sounds of appreciation*
Me: Now I’m super stealthy all the time!
Male Friend: Uh… No? The egg wasn’t what gave you the stealth, the cloak pin was.
Me: No, it was the egg! I distinctly recall the egg being magical!
Female Friend: I… Honestly don’t remember, but I’m pretty sure he’s right, it was the cloak pin.

*Cue me being generally stubborn and upset. I was absolutely certain that the egg had been the enchanted object… And then I remember that I had my notes from that session. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, I look back over my notes and…*

Me: *draping arms around Male Friend’s shoulders as he sits in his computer chair* Male Friend, I am about to give you the greatest gift a woman could possibly give to a man…
Male Friend: *Gives me a deer-in-headlights look as Female friend, his girlfriend, laughs* Uhhhh…
Me: I’m sorry. You were right. I was wrong. The egg was capable of being enchanted, but the cloak pin was, in fact, the stealth-modifying trinket.

*Cue laughter and relief from my Male Friend. I still have that egg, though we only played that campaign a few times.*