(I had recently moved and decided to go to a new dentist. Intake was fine, I go in and it is determined I just need a simple cleaning. I schedule to come in the next day for the actual work to be done. There are a lot of dental students at this place and as such I end up not having a “primary” dentist, I just get whoever’s in. I don’t mind much, though I do have a bit of an amusing encounter with my first, actual appointment. I get a dentist and a student shadowing her nearby to assist)

Dentist: *sitting down with a big sigh and setting up* “Alright, so what do we have for today?”

Me: “Cleaning.”

Dentist: “And?”

Me: “Uh… and? Maybe whitening, I guess?”

Dentist: “Uh-huh. And what?”

(Confused, I look at her assistant, who is eyeing me with a look of confusion well. She decides to read my papers)

Student: “… oh. That’s it.”

Dentist: “What?

Student: “She just has the cleaning. That’s all she has for today.”

(They share a look of pure bewilderment, then both turn to look at me)

Dentist: “That’s it?”

Me: “Well, yeah. That’s what they said.”

Dentist: “No cavities?”

Me: “I mean, they didn’t tell me, so I’m assuming they didn’t find any?”

Student: “Then why are you here?”

Me: “For the cleaning?”

Student: “No, like… do you have any other issues? Any worries that came up? Hurt a tooth? Have sensitive teeth?”

Me: “Nope.” *they continue staring expectantly* “It was just time for my checkup? Honestly, I’ve actually /procrastinated/ coming to the dentist. Been about two years by now, but when I moved I figured I should probably get on it.”

(Finally, after the apparent shock of only having the cleaning for today, they both look at each other one more time and smile)

Dentist: “Well, alright! Cool. Let’s get to it.”

(We FINALLY get to the cleaning and everything goes smoothly. They constantly check in if I’m comfortable and have excellent bedside manner. When I’m done, they sit me back up.)

Dentist: “Annnd… That’s it!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Dentist: “Anything else? You good?”

Me: “Yep!”

Dentist *with a mixture of bemusement and relief* “Awesome. See you in six months, I guess!”

(As I’m leaving, I look over my shoulder to see them shrug and give a thumbs up, beaming to each other. The next couple of appointments since then have not taken nearly as long to convince the people helping me that there’s not a secret serious reason why I’m there, but the same surprise and relief of me being an “easy” patient is still present. I guess the patients they usually get in this spot have way more serious issues with dental hygiene, and only end up going when it’s absolutely necessary!)

(My group of friends in high school has its share of drama-seekers, but one incident in particular stands out to me. The night before this, there was a party that many of our friends attended, though not all. I didn’t happen to go myself, but the next morning before class, one of my friends stomps up to the rest of us in a righteous fury)
Dramatic Friend: I can’t believe you all!! You guys were completely out of line last night!!!
Group: Huh?
Dramatic Friend: You all are ridiculous! [Friend #1] has only told a select number of people, and last night [Friend #2] blabbed about him to four people!! FOUR PEOPLE!!!
(From her tone, and from knowing the friend in question, we all very quickly realize that she’s talking about Friend #1 being outed. Also worth noting, [Friend #2] isn’t even here for this tongue-lashing.)
Me: Uh… [Dramatic Friend], not all of us were even at that party and…
Dramatic Friend: It doesn’t matter!! This is a HUGE deal! I can’t believe you would all be so irresponsible!! I am so mad I just… UGH!!
(And with that, she stormed off. My other friends and I just look around at each other)
Friend #3: Soooo… who here actually knew that [Friend #1] was…
Me: I suspected, but he’d never said…
(Only one or two of the dozen-or-so of us there had known for sure. Luckily, our friend group was incredibly accepting and no one had a problem with it, but as if further outing our friend to far more than four people wasn’t enough – why did she feel the need to blame people who weren’t even present when she apparently knew EXACTLY who had been the one to blab in the first place!?)

(My boyfriend and I live in London and are visiting his mother and brother in Devon. Both of the boys have studied computing to university level. While we are there, his mother answers the phone)
Mother: Hello?
Caller: Hello, is this Mrs [name]?
Mother: Speaking.
Caller: My name is [name] and I’m calling from [large UK ISP], unfortunately there’s been an issue so your connection is downloading viruses to your computer.
Mother: Sounds pretty serious, let me contact my own IT team and I’ll call you back.
(Another one calls the same day, and this time, she’s not as funny about it)
Mother: Look, I know you’re a scam to try and get remote access to my computer. The method is well documented online and I have read myself that [large UK ISP], being a branch of [telephone company] doesn’t have its own customer service branch. Good day! *click*

My husband and I have been married for six years, and were together for three years before that. We occasionally argue, of course, but we always make up fairly quickly, usually with an apology on both sides. Over the last couple of years, my husband has built up a very close friendship with one of his colleagues, and over the past few months, it starts to bother me.

I am not naturally a jealous person, because I assume that if someone is with me, it’s because they want to be with me. In fact, I ended two of my previous relationships due to excessive jealousy on their part. (In one case because I “sat provocatively” in the presence of a mutual friend, and in the other case because I wanted to meet up with a group of friends from my past, one of whom I’d dated for three weeks about five years before.)

So, safe to say I’ve never had a problem with my husband having close friendships with other women, and I don’t have a problem with this one to begin with. But then things start getting a bit weird.

About eight months ago, my husband starts mentioning her a lot. Literally almost every day. “Jessie did this, Jessie says this, etc.” (obviously not her real name). I listen, because I’m always interested in what my husband has to say, plus I’ve met “Jessie” a few times, and I like her.

After a few months, though, I start getting rather irritated, because it seems as if my husband is more interested in Jessie’s day to day life than he is mine. He also starts putting a lot of thought and money into gifts for Jessie. Which wouldn’t bother me at all, except that it’s more thought and money than I get, so I can’t help but compare it.

Jessie’s last birthday, my husband bought her an expensive and thoughtful gift, plus a hand-drawn card. For my birthday, I got a slightly thoughtful and very cheap present, a sort-of-okay present, no card, and a half-assed apology.

Christmas is coming up, and I’ve been putting a lot of effort into all the family presents, as I usually do. My husband tells me to use his account on “popular shopping site” to choose the presents for his family, so I log into his account. Just as I’m doing so, he yells at me to stop, as “I forgot there’s presents on there for you!” I behave like any rational human being who thinks her husband might be cheating on her, log out immediately, and pretend I didn’t see anything. Then I log back in. There is nothing in recent orders that would remotely interest me. What there is, though, is an astoundingly expensive item in the basket, that I know that Jessie would love.

I’ve known for a while that my husband is having an emotional affair, but I wonder to myself if now’s the time he’s about to try and embark on a physical affair as well. I feel like Emma Thompson’s character in ‘Love Actually’ when she opens that Joni Mitchell CD.

My sister and I share Godparents – a married couple who are old friends of my parents. (Officially the guy is my sister’s Godparent and the wife is mine, but unofficially, we share!)

I am six years old, my sister is eight, and my Mum has just had her third child, our baby brother. Realising that she is in need of some peace and quiet, my Godparents take my sister and I to an aquarium somewhere for the day.

We spend the day looking at all the different fish, and some small sharks, and eventually end up in the gift shop. I find a rubber bouncy ball I absolutely have to have – it’s half blue, half clear with three small plastic dolphins positioned to look as though they’re jumping out of the blue half. Six year old me thinks it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and reads the price tag, knowing my Mum gave me a small amount of money to spend on the trip. However, being six, I also can’t resist the pick and mix stand! I put a small amount of candy in the paper bag and notice that they don’t have a scale out to measure how much it will be (and it’s priced by weight).

When I get to the till, the lady scans my sweets and ball and tells me the total. Whilst my weight estimating for the sweets turned out to be very accurate, I have misread the price tag for the ball and am £1 short. I begin to have what I think was my first ever panic attack – being six years old, short of money, without my Mum, very scared of being thrown in retail jail (and completely unaware that I was fully allowed to just put the sweets back!). I am a few seconds short of either hyperventilating or crying or both.

Out of nowhere, my Godmother has appeared by my side and sensed the situation. She wordlessly reaches into her pocket and slides a £1 coin across the counter to the saleswoman. I say thank you (A LOT) but she brushes it off as no big deal. It was a huge deal, I needed a Mum and she stepped right in.

She died recently (she had kidney failure my whole life), and only after speaking to some people did I find out she did the same thing on a much larger scale for my University Graduation. Knowing that my best friend, who lived over 150 miles away, couldn’t afford the hotel or travel, my lovely Godparents picked her up, drove the entire way, and paid for her hotel room just so that they could all see me graduate.

She was utterly selfless, and I miss her endlessly.