Unfiltered Story #56705

Unfiltered | January 19, 2016

I needed the number for the HR department at a place I used to work. Not knowing the number, I looked online and still could not find it. Instead, I called the place where I used to work and a lady answered.

Lady: “Hello! This is [Company]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hello! My name is [Name] and I used to work here. I need the number for Human Resources. Would you happen to have that?”

Lady: “Okay. It’s [#].”

Me: “Thank you so much! Have a good day!”

Lady: “Thanks.” *hangs up*

Me: *dials number, number is “not in service”, I call back*

Lady: “Hello! This is [Company]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hello. I just called here looking for the number for HR and the number you gave me is not in service.”

Lady: “YOU DON’T NEED THE NUMBER FOR HR! DON’T EVER CALL HERE AGAIN! I’M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU! STOP HARASSING ME!”

*hangs up*

Me: “…?”

Unfiltered Story #27983

Unfiltered | January 19, 2016

(My friend and I are both on Tumblr. I notice he reblogged something about being white, and as I’m acting on the Jewish side of Tumblr, I respond half jokingly that he’s not white. I later explain what I mean)

Me: Well, you see, antisemitism can still be seen all across the world, especially in Europe in the past few months. (Note, this was much earlier this year, shortly after a number of antisemitic acts in France and other places in Europe.)

My friend: So, wait. Do you mean I’m oppressed?

(I nod.)

My friend: (pumps fist in the air) YES!

Unfiltered Story #47680

Unfiltered | January 19, 2016

Note: My in-laws are always excited to see my daughter, their first grandchild. I’m on the phone with my mother-in-law, talking about an upcoming family vacation.

Me: So, do you know what time you guys are leaving?”

Mother-in-law: “Sometime in the morning. The only way it’ll be early is if someone reminds everyone that the sooner we leave, the sooner we can see [my daughter’s name]!”

Later, telling the story to my sister:

Me: “What are [my husband’s name] and I, chopped liver?”

Unfiltered Story #32249

Unfiltered | January 18, 2016

(On my 9th grade schedule, my math teacher is listed as “J. Christ”. The first day of class:)

Math teacher: My name is Mrs. Christ (pronounced “Krist”), and before any of you ask, my first name is [name beginning with J that isn’t Jesus].

(She was an excellent math teacher, and I was sorry I only had her for one class. Despite having an unusual name myself, I really have to wonder what her parents were thinking! Another teacher at the same school had the initials B.S.)

Unfiltered Story #67069

Unfiltered | January 18, 2016

It is the end of December and I have just purchased the tailor shop that I’ve been working at for the last 8 years. Since the lease was up anyway, I found a new, better location to conduct the business. This is the perfect time to move as we are ALWAYS closed for around 10 days at the end of the year. All of the equipment and things were moved into the new shop yesterday and have not been set up yet. There are piles of boxes and rolled up carpets, the sewing machines aren’t even plugged in and the orders that still have to be picked up are no longer sorted alphabetically, but in whatever random order the movers hung them up in.

People keep walking up to the doors trying to get in anyway, even though there are many signs on the doors stating that we are closed for the holidays and what our grand re-opening is. However, since they can peek through the vertical blinds and see me, they want in anyway and rattle at the locked door. The following happens when my phone installer is here and the door has to remained unlocked to allow him to come and go…

lady: *walks up, reads signs, looks at me shaking my head at her… she opens the door anyway* I need to pick up!

me: Sorry ma’am, but we aren’t open until January 2nd!

lady: But I was supposed to pick this up on Wednesday (the 18th)! The lady said I could pick it up!

me: Saturday was actually the last day to pick up before January… as you can see, I am just setting everything up here and everything is a jumble back there. I suppose I could go look for you. What is it exactly?

lady: A pair of pants.

me: Okay, could you describe them a little more? There are several things back there and many of them are pants.

lady: I got a hem on them.

me: Yes, most pants that come though here get hems.

lady: They are corduroy!

me: *goes to look and eventually finds them* Okay, I found them. Here you go. Also, just so you know when we do open back up in the new year, we aren’t open on Mondays.

lady: *snatches her pants and leaves without saying thank-you*