There’s a Year 10 boy in my school who no-one particularly likes. He’s rude, arrogant, aggressive and overall a massive bully. As a person, he’s not particularly intimidating as he’s quite skinny and not very muscular. Plus he tends to pick younger kids who are smaller and weaker than he is. Plus he tends to crumble whenever someone bigger challenges him. However, the reason people fear him is because he comes from a very volatile and rough family who have a history of run-ins with the local police. His father and older brother are certified nutcases who have threatened both teachers and students alike who have dared to stand up to him. Thankfully despite being a chubby misfit first year, I have managed to stay off his radar. One day after doing P.E me and my friend are walking down the stairs from the changing room when the bully suddenly appears behind us. I’m wearing a Simpsons backpack that I am very fond of and I hear him begin to snicker loudly at the sight of this.

Bully: The Simpsons! Aren’t you a little old for that?

My friend and I continue to ignore him and just walk down the stairs.

Bully: I said, aren’t you a little old for that?

He grabs my bag and pushes me, causing me to fall down the last couple of stairs and hurting my leg slightly.

Bully: OI FATTY! I’M TALKING TO YOU! I SAID AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR THAT?

Out of sight, someone shoves him and causing him to go stumbling backward. I look up and three bigger and stronger Year 11’s are standing near him. The bully looks a little nervous but is clearly trying to look tough.

Boy 1: Picking on first years, aren’t you a little old for that?

Bully: I don’t have a beef with you- walk away!

Boy 1: Really? Then you shouldn’t have hit my little brother yesterday then! SIck of you always picking on little kids because you’re too much a p***** to fight people your own size! Now get lost or I’ll deck you!

Bully: IF YOU TOUCH ME, I’LL FETCH MY DAD!

Normally this would be a massive deterrent to anyone in school. The three boys look at each then start smirking.

Boy 2: Your Dad’s in prison for armed robbery, what’s he going to do?

The bully looks as if he’s about to wet himself and his arrogant smirk vanishes quickly.

Bully: T-Then I’LL FETCH MY BROTHER INSTEAD AND HE’LL BEAT THE S*** OUT YOU!

Boy 3: Err… your brother went to jail for the same thing as your Dad! Or did you forget?

The Bully has gone almost ghostly white and is clearly worried about how these guys know all this.

Boy 1: It was on the local news, everyone’s talking about it!

He looks as if he wants to the earth to open up and swallow him. Quickly he scampers off before the bigger kids can take things further. The rest of the day, the gossip spread like wildfire. Apparently, his Dad and Brother tried to rob a local post-office but were quickly arrested since neither wore a mask and they were well known to the community. On top of a number of other crimes, they were locked up for 15-20 years. The bully didn’t turn up to school after that, most likely because he knew that without his trump card that he would probably face a number of acts of revenge for the way he had treated people. Soon after, we heard the family had quietly moved away.

I work in an office building. During the year customers often bring gifts in to the one team that is the most customer facing. Nobody else tends to get anything, so those that have the guts wander down and help themselves. With permission.

Today our team got a box of chocolates. It being Christmas, the customer facing team is getting a box a day on average. As they’re melting on my desk I put our chocolates in the back of the fridge. The customer-facing team took half of them.

Call me greedy, but I’ll be keeping the remaining half melted chocolates on my desk from now on. If they’d each taken one it wouldn’t have bothered me, but half of the only box our team has gotten in two years is a bit rude. That would have been several each added to the giant piles of hocklates already on their desks. They didn’t even ask if they could take half.

My dad sings in the church choir. One day before service, they are practicing their songs, one of which is “Little Drummer Boy.” My dad notices that the much leader has a blinking light.
Dad: Is that your metronome?
Leader: Yes.
Dad: Aren’t the ox and lamb supposed to keep time?
Ah, dad jokes.

I work in a big box store in clothing, but am register trained. One day, I am walking up to the customer service desk when I see an elderly lady with a teenage boy walk up to the first cash register and begins to unload her items onto the belt. The lights off, and there is no cashier there.
Me: Ma’am, that register is closed.
Elderly lady looks up from unloading her groceries.
Elderly lady: Huh?
Me: That register is closed.
She looks up and finally notices that the light is off and that there is no cashier.
Teenage boy, looking thoroughly embarrassed: Grandma!
I go ahead and get on the register to ring through her items, while she and her grandson look embarrassed.

(Im Asian, Chinese to be specific. Its later at night where theres little to no customers in line. I was sweeping and I look up to see two people in line. Now keep in mind that I’m chinese, and the type of food we sell is burgers and hotdogs and such)

1st Customer: *Sees me* Oh! Well hello *does a japanese style bow*

Me: *Confused but friendly* Uh yeah hi. How can I help you two?

2nd Customer: Uh yeah can I get uh a – uh a taco?

Me: We… Don’t sell tacos here?

2nd Customer: really? Cause it smells like tacos in here and I want a taco. Can I get a taco?

Me: We don’t sell tacos…

2nd: Damn ok… Well y’all got any kinda mexican food?

Me: We have tamales?

2nd: Nah I don’t want that. Just gimme a cheeseburger and some fries. And whatever this shorty wants.

(I turn towards his friend who is, in fact, much shorter than him. He order and as they leave and pay…)

1st: Hahaha! Yo thanks so much for dealing with us your cool!!! *japanese style bows again*