(After school one day, I decided to go to a popular American smoothie chain restaurant. The two registers they have are directly next to each other at a small counter. The customer in front of me is called to one of them, and the cashier asks him for his name. He says his name. Twenty seconds later, I’m called up right next to him to order.)
My Cashier: “Can I get a name for your order?”
Me: “[Name of the Customer Next To Me].”
(Neither cashier, nor the other customer take any notice to the fact that we supposedly have the same name. I’ll add for clarification, his name is not even close to mine, however his is a somewhat common name.)
My Cashier: “What would you like today?”
Me: “I’ll have a large [Smoothie].”
My Cashier: “Perfect, anything else?”
Me: “No, that’s it.”
(At this point, the other customer finishes ordering his two drinks and leaves the counter.)
My Cashier: “Great, that will be [price].”
(I hand her my debit card, which has my first name, middle initial, and last name on it. She swipes it, then asks if I want my receipt, which I say I do.)
My Cashier: *handing me my card and receipt* “We’ll have that right out for you, [Name of Other Customer].”
(I smile again as I walk over to a table to wait. Just a minute or so later, the guy at the service counter calls the man for his drinks, putting three drinks out. He looks confused, and says he only ordered two. His cashier overhears this, is confused as well, and checks the receipt on each drink. After a short bit, my cashier comes over to join them. The three employees look at the receipts, discuss a little, and realize what happened, starting to laugh.)
My Cashier: *to the other employees working on drinks in the back* “Guys, we just had two guys named [Name] order right after the other and we didn’t even realize it.”
(The employees on drinks laugh over the mistake, and the man at the service counter calls for the name again, so I head over. I smile as I grab my drink and the other man grabs his two, and I walk out, still hearing the workers talk about how weird and funny it was.)
(I hope I helped them have a better day, because it certainly made mine better!)

I was talking with a customer about a computer system we had sold them. The customer was quite happy with the system but asked me about one specific feature. There was a place in one of the data entry screens where you had to enter the same value into two different fields. This was a minor bug because the system should have been able to take the value from only one field. The second was redundant.
Anyway, the customer had noticed this and asked me why the value had to go in twice.
My reply “Bad design.”
He accepted that as a valid reason.

There are 3 entrances at my office – the main entrance and 2 side doors. On this particular day, I enter through the side door nearest my desk and go out the same door for my 2 breaks, so the first time I use the main entrance today just happens to be when I come back in from my afternoon break. I open the outer door, scan my key card, open the inner door, and head for the elevator just around the corner when I stop in my tracks. I turn my head back to the doors and stare carefully for several seconds to be sure I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing. Once I confirm that, yep, that’s what it is, I turn slowly around and continue my journey.

When I get upstairs to my department, my coworker is sitting at his desk next to mine.

Me: Why is there a T. rex skull by the front door?
Coworker: Oh, [other department in our building] found it while they were cleaning out some old cubicles today. They didn’t have anywhere to put it, so they asked around if it was okay to just put it near the front door, and they said, sure.
Me: And how did a T. rex skull end up in [that department]?
Coworker: No one knows.
Me: Of course not.

It’s still there 2 years later. People have fun putting Santa hats, Mardi Gras beads, etc. on it during holidays.

My family lives in several different countries, and one of the ways we keep in touch is through a messaging group where we send each other pictures. One day my brother sends pictures from the zoo, and they all have silly captions. The jaguar says “bird exhibit,” the elephants say “looking at some dinosaurs,” the lemurs say “African predators,” etc. He says he went with Caitlin, who I know he’s been seeing for several months, but who my dad apparently hasn’t heard about yet.

Dad: *forwards the picture of a bear and jokingly asks* Is this Caitlin? I’m confused.

Brother: Yep. I’m dating a bear. *sends actual picture of himself with Caitlin and some friends*

Dad: So Caitlin is 3 girls. Gotcha. I totally get it now.

Piles of laughing emojis from everyone quickly followed the last message.

(Background Information: My brother is the type of a person who got incarcerated for his violent temper. Growing up, I tried to develop a nasty glare so he’d leave me alone. It didn’t work. I figured I just didn’t have the face for it. I’m small and a girl, after all.

Anyway, I’m at lunch one day when someone spills their juice on my book. I reflexively shoot a glare in their direction and they jump back like 5 feet.)

Student: “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I tripped. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

(I stare after their extreme reaction- more confused than anything. They fetch paper towels, which they hand to me at an arm’s length. My friends help dry out my book while I make sure my pants aren’t wet. By the time I’ve sopped up most of the mess, the student has disappeared.)

Friend #1: “So [my name]…”
Me: “Yeah?”
Friend #1: “Where’d you get that nasty glare?”
Friend #2: “Yeah! It was the meanest stink eye I’ve ever seen!”
Me: “Really? I guess it was a little harsh… Wait, is that why that kid was so afraid?”
Friends: *nod emphatically*
Friend #2: “Even I was scared!”
Friend #1: “You’re always so quiet. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

(That day was the day I learned that my face did work- just not on my brother!)