I worked at a Kmart when I was in High school.
One day my manager asked me to sit at a table that held watches. He said that all I had to do was sit there and make sure that no one took off with one.
An older man (probably in his 70’s) approached the table
Him: “Aren’t you going to try and sell me a watch?”
Me: “ Umm… I guess you should buy one?”
Him: “Come on you can do better than that. If I was your manager I would make you do more than just sit there.”

He kept pestering me and my mom happened to walk by (she also worked there).
Mom: “ Hi can I help you?”
Him: “ Yeah, can I buy this girl and take her home to be my wife?”
My mom: *Hoping its a joke*. “Ah, you wouldn’t want her, she eats way too much chocolate.”
Him: *gets close to me and winks* “ Well honey, you know what they say about chocolate and sex. I bet you would be great in bed.”

…. I was only sixteen.

Years ago, my dad came home from taking our dog, Rita, for a walk and noticed she was limping a bit. After a bit of investigation, he realized there was a dark spot in her paw, and that the whole pad was swollen to the point of being hard.

Our regular veterinarian office was closed, so he immediately got her loaded into the car and drove her to the nearest emergency vet.

After going through the whole signing in process, he finally got her back to see the veterinarian, who took one look at the paw and couldn’t resist laughing… Rita had stepped on an acorn shell and it had gotten lodged around her pad. On the bright side, the vet thought it was so funny, he didn’t even charge my dad for the visit.

*In loving memory of Rita, who died at 17 late last year. This will always be one of my favorite stories about her*

(People at this pool usually live in the high end housing around our pool but some also live in the neighborhood behind us and they can get passes for them summer at a fixed rate, as I am explaining this to a family friend this happens)

Family Friend: Okay so it’ll just be $150 for the whole summer?

Customer: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO CHECK A F****** PERSON IN

Me: I’m sorry, he was just buying a pass ma’am I will be with you in one second.

Customer: NO F****** WAY I AM NOT WAITING ANY LONG

(sprints into the pool area and proceeds to set up all of her belongings)

Me: Ma’am can I just have your last name so that you don’t get called out by our manager when we do our checks?

Customer: NO YOU CANNOT I DIDN’T WAIT IN LINE JUST TO BE HARASSED BY A TEENAGER AFTER I’M IN THE POOL!

Me: (sighes) Okay then, I hope you have a good day!

( My manager did the check not even 5 minutes later and called her out for not checking in. She went crazy on us and tried to fight our 6’6” Hungarian manager. We called the cops and she was asked to leave the pool. NEVER DISRESPECT TEENAGERS!!!!)

I’m a vegetarian, and decide to stop at a fast casual place for lunch. All of their wraps have chicken in them, but one sounds good so I decide to order it anyway and specify that I would like it without chicken. I see the woman behind the counter grab a tortilla and start placing toppings into it, and then I see her grab some breaded chicken.
Me: oh, actually I ordered that without chicken.
Waitress: yes, it comes with chicken. (Proceeds to put chicken into the wrap, and reaches for the dressing)
Me: right, but I wanted it with no chicken please.
Waitress: but it comes with chicken.
Me: I get that, I don’t eat chicken and I want the wrap without it, can you please take it out?
Waitress: no, it comes with chicken.
Seeing that she clearly doesn’t understand, I decide to leave. As I’m walking out the door I hear her shout “it comes with chicken!” after me.

An online friend of mine started drawing comics and sharing them with us. I notice something pretty quick. I ask her, why are all her characters so dangerously thin? She says they are “normal” and do a lot of work. And she wonders why we don’t talk any more?