One of my main duties is answering the phone. I’m about a half hour away from the end of this shift and it’s been a day full of stupid. But this just takes the cake. The phone rings…

Me: [Business Name], this is [My Name].
Caller: Yeah…uhh…is [Boss] there? *sounds like he’s bombed out of his mind*
Me: Yes, she is. May I tell her who’s calling?
Caller: Umm…yeah. It’s [Caller’s Name] from [Law Firm].
Me: Okay, Mr. [Caller’s Name], let me put you on a short hold while I find [Boss].
Me: *over walkie* [Boss]?
Boss: I’m in a meeting.
Me: *back on the phone* I’m sorry, sir, it looks like she’s in a meeting at the moment. Could I give you her voice mail so she can call you back when she’s available?
Caller: Oh…could I just leave a message and my number with you?
Me: Yes…on her voicemail…
Caller: Oh! Okay. Yeah, that’ll work I guess…
Me: *transfers him and promptly smacks head into desk*

Seriously. What the ever-loving f*** did he think voicemail was for?! And this genius works at a law firm. God help their clients.

(In our house, all of us has our own cat and then some. All in all we have 8 cats and 4 kittens. We do take care of them and all but one are fixed. Each cat has their own personality and only two look alike as they are sister’s. Despite this, my mother still managed to not recongize the most obvious cat in the house, my brothers all black cat.)
Mom: There is a huge black cat in our back room. Dont let him in.
Me: Must be one of the two next door.
(I went out in our back room to gently take the cat home only to realize who he was. I pick him up and go in.)
Me: Mom. Was he fluffy, big and black?
Mom: Yes, don’t let him in!
Brother: Mom!
Me: Was it…this one?
(I held up Roady, our huge black cat. She couldn’t believe she didnt recognize our own black cat. That same cat is currently curled up on my leg.)

(I work in the phone center for an industrial supply company. A large part of the job is taking orders over the phone. We always tell the customer at the end of the call when their order will be delivered. Because we keep 98% of our inventory in house – something we’re known for – the overwhelming majority of orders deliver the next day. Every day, multiple times a day, this exchange goes down.)

Me: We’ll deliver your order between 9 and 11 tomorrow.

Customer: Okay. So, do you have the items in stock? Will they ship today?

(I walked into my boss’s kids watching TV.)

Me: “Hi [name]! What are we watching?”

Boy: “Cartoon.”

Me: *these cartoons look and sound like they are high up on weed or something* “So…do you watch Tom and Jerry?”

Boy: *in all seriousness* “What’s that?”

Me: *little shocked* “Uh, it’s a cartoon? Cat chasing a mouse?”

Boy: *obviously uninterested* “No idea.”

(I am 26, he is 12. Never
in my entire life ever did I felt both frustrated and old at the same time.)

I work at a popular fast food chain. This little boy came as I worked as a cashier
Me: Hello, what would you like to order?
Boy: I want a Hamburger, but without cucumber slices, and I want to add cheese
Me: Okay, that will be 1,49€
Boy: What? A Burger costs 1€ right?
Me: Yes, but a Cheeseburger costs 1,49€
Boy: No, I want a Hamburger with cheese, not a Cheeseburger
Me: But a Hamburger with Cheese is a Cheeseburger
He really looked confused. But then his uncle, who also works there, came. And they repeated the whole a Hamburger with cheese is a Cheeseburger. At the end the boy just ordered a Hamburger because he only had 1€.
I read this kind of story somewhere before. Never thought I will experience it myself