Unfiltered Story #27875

Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(My friends and I tend to be…eccentric. One night, Friend 1 says my name while trying to address Friend 2.)

Friend 1: Hey, Kevin. Wanna play Pathfinder?

Friend 2: Sure.

Me: *yelling from my bedroom* HEY, FRIEND! I’M KEVIN, AND SURE.

Friend 3: Hahaha! “I’m Kevin!”

Friend 1: I’M KEVIN! No. Now he’s Kevin, too. I’m Kevin, too. She’s Kevin, too. We’re all Kevin!

Me: Mwuahahah! I’m spreading…you will all be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Friend 1: Hey, Kevin. Kevin’s giving me weird looks again.

Me: Yeah. What’s up with that Kevin?

Friend 3: What?

(This continues for a bit, until…)

Friend 1: Everyone’s Kevin! It’s like a disease!

Friend 3: Kevin grew.

Friend 1: Hehe. Kevin’s a growth.

Me: Technically, true. Kevin did grow. All Kevins grew.

Friend 1: Did you know that most Kevins breathe air?

Me: Wrong. Most Kevins breath Kevins.

Friend 1: Is everything turning into Kevin?

Me: Kevin is indeed Kevin into Kevin. (Everything is indeed turning into Kevin.)

Friend 1: Kevin Kevin is Kevin Kevin.

(And so it begins…)

Unfiltered Story #47573

Unfiltered | October 3, 2015

(My great aunt is famous for being incredibly brash and tactless. This is one of her many gems)

Great Aunt: (to my dad) I just want to congratulate you on your two beautiful girls. They are so lovely, and I wish them all the happiness in the future.

Dad: Thank you (to my mum) you are beautiful too.

Great Aunt: Yes, we are all beautiful. In our own ways.

Me: *taken aback*

Unfiltered Story #32146

Unfiltered | October 2, 2015

(My high school has an area outside which is covered by tarps, the ground is covered in fake grass. Students tend to eat their lunch out here, so it gets rather messy. My friend and I are walking to the main office, no other students are around. We see one of the maintenance crew vacuuming the lawn.)

Friend: Is he “vacuuming” the lawn? *incredulous expression*

Me: Yes, yes he is. *continues walking*

Unfiltered Story #66961

Unfiltered | October 2, 2015

(I’ve recently been promoted to keyholder at a chain clothing/skateboard shop in the mall. This morning I’m opening alone and taking care of some store-to-store transfers. A woman comes in with a return.)

Me: Hi, how can I help you today?

Woman: I’ve got a return from another store, but their computers were down so the receipt was handwritten.

Me: Well, let me take a look at it and see what I can do.

(she hands me the handwritten receipt, which has the printed credit card receipt stapled to it, so I can tell it’s an actual transaction and not a fake. I check the totals, and they match, and as I check the date, I notice that the purchase was almost three years ago in a store out of state. Our return policy is within 90 days.)

Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry. But you bought this almost three years ago, I’m not sure that I can take this return.

Woman: But I paid for it! The tags are still attached and I have the receipt!

Me: Yes, I see all of that, but our return policy is thirty days for cash back, ninety days for store credit.

Woman: I want to speak to the manager.

Me: I’m the current manager on duty, I’m sorry, but I can’t take this return.

Woman: Is there anything you can do?

Me: Give me one moment.

(I call my store manager, who will be in later on. I ask her if there’s anything I can do, she tells me I can return the item for whatever price it rings up as in the computer, but I can’t do a full return. I explain this to the woman.)

Woman: Well what do you mean?

Me: Well, you bought the item so long ago, it may have gone on sale since then, or moved to an outlet store only.

(the purse is marked at $29.95, I scan it into the computer to check it, and it is coming up as $19.99)

Me: Well, that’s not so bad. Sometimes items can go down below a dollar after this amount of time. Do you still have the credit card you used to purchase it? I can refund you the $19.99 to that.

Woman: That’s unacceptable, I want to speak to your boss.

Me: Ma’am, I just got off the phone with her, she is the one who is even letting me do this refund.

Woman: Well, then I want to speak to her boss!

Me: Umm… Alright.

(I call my district manager, and leave a message telling her to call me back right away regarding a customer complaint. While we wait for her to call me back, I apologize to another woman and her son who I was helping find shoes before the woman doing the return came in. My district manager calls back, I explain the situation, she tells me the same thing my store manager told me, and I tell her the woman wants to talk to her. I give the woman the phone and she argues with my District Manager for about ten minutes.)

Me (to second woman and her son): I am so sorry about all of this, if you’d like to leave your items here and come back in a little while, I’ll be able to ring you up.

Second Woman: Oh, don’t worry about it, sweetie. Honestly, I don’t want to leave you alone with her in case this gets bad.

(The woman gets off the phone with my district manager, and hands the phone back to me.)

Woman: YOU are the reason retail is a failing industry!

(She takes her purse and receipt and storms out of the store.)

Second Woman: If I were you, I’d be pretty proud of being the reason for an entire economic downfall!

1 Thumbs
164

Unfiltered Story #27874

Unfiltered | October 2, 2015

(My best friend has a “problem” where she almost always fails to say something nice without adding something a little bit insulting to it at the same time. Usually I don’t mind that quirk. We are out on the town celebrating my recent engagement.)

[Friend]: You don’t know how lucky you are! I mean, you’re engaged, and he loves you, no matter what.

Me: *smiling* I know. I’m incredibly happy.

[Friend]: He loves you even though you can be so *unbelievably* hard to be around! I mean, loving you like that, even though you have the flaws you do… And you really have flaws! It’s unbelievable!

(I don’t really know what to say, but it hurts me a lot, and I end up walking home with tears in my eyes. The next day, I’m over it, and we’re playing a quiz game with my fiancé and another friend. It’s a running joke that [Best friend] usually gets the answers wrong.)

[Fiancé]: What is the name of the leaf the koala bear likes to eat?

[Other friend]: Oh. I don’t know…

Me: Come on! Even [Best friend] would know this!

[Best friend]: Hey!

Me: *laughing* Come on, why can’t I joke like that when you said it’s unbelievable my fiance loves me even with all of my flaws? (Everyone laughs)

[Best friend]: (coldly) I can’t believe you would say that. I’m *really* mad at you now. Why would you say that?!

Me: …