Unfiltered Story #28275

Unfiltered | December 20, 2016

My father is a (locally well-known and liked, quite highly ranked) police detective. He had an old Eastern car which was widely associated with certain minority and criminal groups in my country for years. Due to this, we are frequently stopped for random road checks, both in our town and outside it. Sometimes it got…. funny. Keep in mind that here when police stops you you are supposed to get out of the vehicle.

Once he was helping me move home from the dorm, late at night. We are stopped by a police car; an older sergeant and a rookie, standard procedure. Dad gets out, gives his police ID (which states his rank too) to the rookie. Both guys look panicked, and salute him, and the rookie gave dad a report seemingly instinctively. The sergeant finally made the usual questions and did the check they were supposed to conduct, but the rookie was shaking the entire time and looked as pale as a ghost, then blurted out:

Rookie: Sorry, sir, it was just your car….

Dad: *facepalms*

Other occasion. Late night at our city. “Random check”. Dad stops the car. We can see the cop getting out of the car, visibly pumping up and straightening himself, ready to confront the driver. Dad grins out of the window at him.
Dad: “Hey, [Cop], how is the night?”
Cop *visibly deflates* F*ck, [Dad’s name], is that you?
Dad *grinning a bit more* Taking my daughters out to the movies…
Cop *signaling us to move along, while peeking into the car to smile at us (four teenage and above girls)*
Dad *emits a low growl*
Cop *jumps back* Sorry…
Dad *laughs*

Finally, the news about Dad’s…. unique car seemed to got around, right about the time he let go of it, finally, and replaced it. Seems like it was still… memorable.

Mom and dad are out shopping, both in civilian gear. They run into two cops, one of them greet and salute dad, they talk a little, then they part ways. Mom goes back to the aisle a moment later, and witnesses this:

Cop1: Who were these people?

Cop2: Oh, this was [Dad’s name], big shot at [Department], and his wife [Mom’s name], from the [local equivalent of FEMA]. And he has such an ugly, rundown, broken piece of sh*t for a car…

Unfiltered Story #32575

Unfiltered | December 20, 2016

I’m talking to my science teacher about my F in his class.

Me: I’ve turned in all of my assignments

Teacher: I’m trying to grade them as fast as possible

Me: All my friends already have all those things submitted and graded! I’m the only one who hasn’t recieved a grade!

Teacher: I’ll try my best to get it back to you, OK?

(He never graded it and I failed the class. He was fired the year after.)

Unfiltered Story #47965

Unfiltered | December 20, 2016

I have been seeing my girlfriend for quite a while now, but due to one reason or another our parents have never met properly, we are at a get together where they are both there.

(My family are quite well spoken, lovely but her dad thinks that are really posh and is a little worried about making a right impression.)

My family: hi we are (my names) parents)
GF dad; Oh, great to meet you, i’m (girlfriends) mum.

GF dad: oh god I mean her Dad, I have no idea why I said that.

(They both laugh and got on really well, but I do still wind him up till this day about the time he forgot what gender he was!)

Unfiltered Story #28277

Unfiltered | December 19, 2016

(I’ve recently come out as Bi-sexual and I’m pretty open about it, me and my best mate insult each other a lot when generally talking, so I sit down next to him one day in class and this exchange occurs)

MATE: You know what, it annoys me that we can’t make gay jokes anymore

ME: Why?

MATE: Cause they don’t affect you

ME: Well that what you get for me being openly gay

MATE: I’m not homophobic, but you being gay is really cramping my style, it’s inconvenient to find new ways to insult you

*We both chuckle*

Unfiltered Story #57039

Unfiltered | December 19, 2016

(My boyfriend and I decided to grab some food from a local family owned fast food restaurant on our walk home from school. I am a female, about 5’9, while my boyfriend is 6’2. We are both in high school sophomores. We decided to go there because my boyfriend’s brother’s friend is the owner and he always gives us a discount. We walk in and we see a cashier that we have never seen before. She gives us a hateful look as we walk into her line. Note: I am extremely shy and hate confrontations or anybody yelling at me.)

Boyfriend: Hi! Um, can we get a number 4, and for her, *gestures to me* What do you want, [My name]?

Me: *shyly* I would like a number 1, please?

Cashier: *rolling her eyes* Well, SPEAK louder so I can hear you, f****** anorexic.

Boyfriend: EXCUSE ME? That’s no way to treat the owner’s brother, much less any customer!

Cashier: Pfft, you think I’m gonna believe that f****** lie? Get out! You’re just a couple of poor a** teens who can’t even pass the ninth grade!

Boyfriend: No, seriously, I am [Brother’s name] brother!

Cashier: Whatever, just get out, you’re banned from this store. Take your f****** w**** with you!

Me: C-can we just see the owner, please? It’ll be really quick!

Cashier: Why? So you can show him your things to convince him to give you a discount? I said, GET THE F*** OUT OF MY STORE, YOU LITTLE W****!

(Note: I am relatively chesty for an Asian at my age, but the remark still stings. I start crying, both at the embarrassment and the yelling. Finally, my boyfriend’s brother walks in.)

Brother: Hey, you little s***!

Cashier: See, even the owner doesn’t want you in his place!

Brother: *grabs my brother’s head and gives him a wicked noogie* Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since 8th grade! How’s life?

Boyfriend: Get off, what took you so long getting here? Didn’t you hear the yelling from your office?

Brother: Oh yeah, I was busy writing up your cashier, but now that I heard everything, *turns to cashier* get out. You are fried, banned from the restaurant, and if you open your mouth again, I’ll toss in a call from the police for public disturbance and sexual assaults.

Cashier: What? They’re just a couple of f****** teens. You told me that you didn’t have any siblings!

Brother: I said, I didn’t have any siblings that was as cool as this guy. Get out, you’re fired.

(The cashier continues screaming, saying that we were a couple of teens, that I was a w****, my boyfriend wasn’t the owner’s brother, and that she didn’t do anything wrong. She got escorted out by the police.)