Unfiltered Story #66974

Unfiltered | October 15, 2015

(We’re changing shifts when the phone rings. My coworker is polite, but no nonsense when it comes to rude customers.)

Coworker: “Hello this is [hotel]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I stayed there, and I saw my bill. What’s this about parking fees?”

Coworker: “If you park in our garage, you have to pay the fee.”

Customer: “Well no one told me! I demand this off my bill!”

Coworker: “Sorry you have to pay if you use it. It’s not fair to the people who have paid if I waive it.”

Customer: “That’s not right! I’ll sue!”

Coworker: “Do as you wish.”

Customer: “You are VERY F**king rude. What is your name?!”

Coworker: “I don’t have to tell you. I’m disconnecting this call for obscene language.” *to me* “I’m going.” *leaves*

Me: “Ok?” *phone rings* “Hello thank you for–”

Same Customer: “I DEMAND YOUR NAME b****! HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME!”

Me: “You spoke to my coworker earlier? My name is [name]. Hers is [name].”

Same Customer: “Ha! Now I got your name. I’m going to take your job, b****!” *hangs up*

(I told my manager what happened, and he checked his email. Sure enough, there was one from corporate, with a complaint from the woman, claiming I had swore at her on the phone. She got her fee waived, but she didn’t take my job!)

Unfiltered Story #32159

Unfiltered | October 15, 2015

(We’re in GCSE Geography class, doing a topic on Changing Urban Environments. The teacher is showing some case studies about Manchester and Birmingham and their revitalisation projects.)

Teacher: So new, safer, blocks of flats have been put up for the Brummies to live in. Any questions?

Me: Well, if someone from Birmingham is called a Brummie, what’s someone from Manchester?

Classmate (without missing a beat): Inbred!

(This did not impress the teacher, who was from Manchester himself.)

Unfiltered Story #27886

Unfiltered | October 14, 2015

(Two friends and I are relaxing in the student lounge. I’ve been very busy of late, so haven’t gotten much sleep. When I can barely keep my eyes open any longer…)

Me: “Guys, I’m really sorry, but I’m going to turn in early tonight.”

Friends #1: “Aw, c’mon, man, its way to early to sleep!”

Me: *Stands up* “Nope, not this time. I’ve got a really full day tomorrow.”

Friend #1: *Shouting melodramatically* “But (my name), you cannot go! Please, do not leave me!”

Me: *Followin suit* “I shall miss you dearly, but I must depart. We will meet again soon, though – I swear it to you!” *Opens door*

Friend #1: “Farewell, then, (my name)! I love you!”

Friend #2: *Bursts out laughing hysterically* “Dude…”

Me: “So long!” *Pokes head back around the door, grinning* “Oh, and thanks for all the fish!”

(And this is why we are the main act of entertainment in the student lounge!)

Unfiltered Story #47584

Unfiltered | October 14, 2015

(My parents are both pretty conservative with their humor around my brother and me. My dad can’t stand the band The Carpenters, but my mom loves them. It’s almost Christmas and the Carpenters are on the radio with “Merry Christmas Darling.”)

Mom, to me: “I love this song, but your father always ruins it for–”

Dad: (singing along, extremely out of key) “‘Logs on the fiiiiiire, fill me with desiiiiiire!’ That means she’s horny…”

Mom and me: *dying laughing*

Unfiltered Story #56612

Unfiltered | October 14, 2015

(I am the customer in this story)

Cashier: Hi. What can I get for you today?

Me: *orders food*

Cashier: k, is that all?

Me: No… I’d also like-

Cashier: Tell the person at the first window.

Me: I can’t finish ordering here?

Cashier: Please pull up to the first window.

(There was NOBODY behind me. Why she asked if that was all I wanted but proceeded not to take the rest of my order is beyond me)