Unfiltered Story #67400

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

(This happens two days before Hunting season opens making it Black Saturday, the day after Black friday) Customer 1: OMG (Customer 2) look at these! They have Jerky Shooters. Didn’t your husband have that on his Christmas list?

Customer 2: Yes. Did you find them?

Customer 1: Over here, but they don’t look right.

Me: Excuse me ladies did you need some help?

Customer 1: Yes! How do they work?

Me: You put the meat you want to make into jerky and you squeeze the trigger to put it on the tray.

(They both share an uneasy look of confusion) Customer 1: So its a jerky gun?

Me: Yes that’s another name for it.

Customer 2: So how far does it shoot?

Me: Not far at all, it shoots on a tray.

Customer 2: But I don’t get it? How far away would we have to stand to catch the jerky on the tray?

Me: (dumbfounded by stupidity and after a brief pause) You put the tray on the table and unless you bump it, it won’t fall off.

Customer 1: Do you squeeze it gently so that doesn’t happen?

Me: No? It’s like icing a cake nice and smooth. You put the ground up meat in shooter and it comes out nice and smooth.

Customer 1 and 2: OOOOOHHH!

Customer 1: I thought it shot like a gun and we had to catch it with the tray. We feel really dumb now! Thank you sir for putting up with us.

(They walk away laughing and embarrassed as I start laughing and telling my coworkers the story over our radios)

Unfiltered Story #47973

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

(The young ladies of my family have a tendency to be promiscuous and very irresponsible at the same time, something that I do not agree with. My boyfriend is comfortable with a sex-less relationship, but my older sister likes to tease him about it. One day my boyfriend and I are skyping with my sister. She has been teasing him the entire time, and playing a video game.)

Sister: (to other players in her game) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Me: FINE! >boyfriend<, take off your pants!

(I then hung up the skype call, but not before she screamed loud enough to scare her cats. She doesn’t tease him anymore.)

Unfiltered Story #18587

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

I’m from a small town near Vancouver and have come to the city for a show. While I’m out driving I come to an intersection at a busy street (East Hastings). I’m trying to make a left onto said street, and the only way is to either cut across 3 lanes of traffic or wait for someone to push a button to make the light turn red (I only have a stop sign). Just as my mom is about to jump out of the car and go push the button, a random stranger pushes the button. At first I thought he was going to cross the street, but he just kept walking. Thank you random stranger, for making city driving just a little bit easier

Unfiltered Story #57048

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

(It is early December, and my store is crazy busy preparing for the Boxing Day sale. I catch some kind of vomiting bug on my day off, and can’t even keep water down without puking it back up again. Even without drinking anything, I am vomiting ever hour on the dot until my insides are completely empty and dehydrated. Needless to say, by the time my next shift comes around I’m in no condition to be on my feet for eight hours. I call in sick.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, [Store Manager], but I can’t make it today.”

(She immediately interrupts me before I can continue.)

Store Manager: *angrily* “[My name], it’s *Christmas*!”

Me: *hoarsely, as I haven’t drank anything in two days* “I’m vomiting at least once every two hours. I don’t have the strength to stand, and I might give the bug to other people. I’m really sorry, but I’ll try and make it in by the end of the week.”

Store Manager: *huffs aggressively* “Fine.” *Click*

(She is the monstrous manager who gives zero respect to employees.)

Unfiltered Story #28283

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

(I take my daughter once a week to our local library, despite her being just about 2 years old, she loves it. We absolutely have to check out a children’s chapter book every time, and the librarians who work there absolutely adore her and her love of being read to.)

Me: How about this one sweetheart? Mommy used to love reading this when she was a child!

Daughter: Baba ba baaaaaa!

Librarian: That is just so sweet. I love it when children love being read to or reading.

Me: I do too, and she loves it herself!

(I take the book down, holding it out to my daughter for her approval when a lady snatches it out of my hand.)

Lady: This is too thick! She’s only a baby!

Librarian: Ma’am! You give that back right now!

Me: Lady, my daughter loves longer books, she loves being read to, and it’s helping her to learn new words.

Lady: It’s still too thick! You should be ashamed of yourself! What mother would read this thick of a book to her TODDLER!?

Me:…It’s about 50 to 60 pages, if anything that’s too short!

Librarian: I’ve seen this baby once a week, and they get out all kinds of children’s books! She loves the longer ones, just like her mother this baby enjoys books, and I’ve known the mother for years now!

Lady: Still! Pick out one of those books!

(The lady points to a section of books of which my daughter has actually already seen and have had them read to her, multiple times.)

Me: She’s already heard them and seen them, now please give me back that book so I can check it out.

Lady: Absolutely not!

Librarian: Then let me offer this.

(The librarian promptly made my daughter her very own library card, got up and grabbed another children’s chapter book, and checked it out. She stared at the lady who was screaming obscenities and threw the book down at the floor, thankfully missing my daughter when she slipped behind me to hide. The lady stomped out still screaming about how parents shouldn’t choose too thick of a book.)

Me: Wow! You alright babygirl?

Daughter: Mama…

Librarian: I’m so sorry. You and your daughter are in here so often, even I know what the baby likes, it’s a shame some people can’t see that. We have a new set of children’s books coming in, they are for toddlers, but would you like to be first on the list to check them out?

Me: Absolutely!

Librarian: Fantastic! Here, let me check this book out.

(We left with 3 books each, and my daughter has already heard all hers. I’m not even finished with mine! Lady, I don’t know what your deal was that day, I hope you were only having a really bad day, but despite your words that it was too thick, I was right. It was too thin! Tomorrow we go back for 3 more books for my daughter!)