Unfiltered Story #32170

Unfiltered | October 26, 2015

I am in 7th grade and can be rather mischievous.

Teacher: we are going to be watching a movie today in class. (my name) can you turn off the lights?

Me: (turns off lights and sneaks out of the classroom).

I go to my locker and put on a scream mask. Then I go back to my classroom and sit at the back of the room. For a minute or so, no one noticed. Then…

Student 1: Mrs. (Teacher) look at (my name)!!

Teacher: (between chuckles) (my name) take that mask off and go to the principals office.

I talked to the assistant principal. He was trying really hard not to laugh but said it wasn’t appropriate. He also called my mom and said he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard of a kid doing.

Unfiltered Story #66985

Unfiltered | October 26, 2015

(It’s my first day on the job, so I really don’t know my way around the store yet)

Me: Can I help you?

Customer: Yes, I’m looking for this kind of vacuum bags. *hold up wrapper* I bought them here last month.

Me: Sure thing. The vacuums are over in this corner, so let’s go take a look.

Me: Hm, we don’t seem to have any vacuum bags here. But I could probably order them online and have them shipped to the store, if you’d like.

Customer: Okay.

(I go to the website. We don’t seem to sell vacuum bags at all.)

Me: I’m sorry, I’m having trouble locating them. Let me get a lead expert who might know our stock better.

Customer: (huffs) Fine.

Lead: We’ve historically never sold many vacuum bags.

Customer: No! That’s impossible! I bought these here last month! You had them right over by the automotive section!

Lead: We’ve never had an automotive section either.

Customer: I bought these right here last month! You can’t tell me you don’t sell them!

Lead: I’m sorry, but we simply don’t. I bet Sears would have them, though.

Customer: What do you mean? Isn’t this Sears?

Lead: No m’am. This is JCPenney.

Customer: Oh. I thought it was Sears. I bought these at Sears. You all have a nice day!

(We are surrounded by the JCPenney logo. My nametag reads ‘jcpenney’ in place of a name because I’m so new. I had offered to order the bags from ‘jcpenney dot com’.)

Unfiltered Story #56624

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

My mom just ate at IKEA, but she’s nice enough to buy me a Happy Meal at McDonalds. I tell her what I want, which is a Happy Meal with apples, Fanta and cheeseburger. She repeats this to the order machine, but we didn’t check the screen to see our order. This is what happens at the drive through:

Worker: So Happy Meal with Fanta, cheeseburger and carrots?

Mom: No, apples.

The worker apologizes and press a few buttons and we pay.

We pull up and mom happens to see the other worker packaging the meal, holding a bag of carrots. Maybe the second worker didn’t do any correction at all.

Mom: No, sorry, we wanted apples.

Worker #2: Sorry. Here you go.

So three screw ups in a row. While not terrible, it’s kind of annoying.

And as usual, no napkins in the Happy Meal packaging.

Unfiltered Story #32169

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(This was during a combined high school and middle school field trip. The middle schoolers were talkative and a bit annoying, but one of the chaperones decided to have a bit of fun with them and tells us high scoolers about it)

Chaperone: “I managed to convince the middle schoolers to try and start a petition.”

Student #1: “ooh. About what?”

Chaperone: “to ban dihydrogen monoxide from their water.”

(We all laugh)

Me: “how were you able to do that?”

Chaperone: “well, Y’know, I told them that it’s found in people who die of cancer, it can be lethal in massive quantities, et cetera.”

Me: “well then. I wonder if they’ll actually start one.”

Chaperone: “[laughs] I haven’t told them the truth yet.”

(For those who don’t know: dihydrogen monoxide is the scientific name for water).

Unfiltered Story #66984

Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(I was stocking the shelves of the small-sized supermarket I work in when a strange-looking customer approached me).

Customer: Exshush me, I’m lookin for the throileth trush.

Me: What?!

(I wasn’t being rude, I really couldn’t understand him properly. After going back and forth a while, I decided to try something out)

Me: Sir, could you repeat what you said, just a little slower this time?

(The customer does exactly what I suggested)

Me: (slapping forehead) TOILET BRUSH!!!