Unfiltered Story #47974

Unfiltered | December 29, 2016

(My father often talks to our little dog, telling him he is a good boy, even though the dog usually growls at him. One day, I hear the growling that indicates Dad has picked him up for a walk.)

Dad: What a good little boy! What a good little boy!

(As he says this, I walk out of my room and pet the dog.)

Dad: Who’s more good, you or your sister? What a good little daughter I have! What a good little daughter!

(I’m 20 years old and by no means little, but it was cute.)

Unfiltered Story #57049

Unfiltered | December 29, 2016

This happened to me when I was 21 and home from college on winter break.

My family and I sometimes go to a store that sells Entenmann’s desserts and Thomas’ English muffins. While waiting for my mother to pay for what we picked out, the man at the register notices me.

Cashier: Is the child in the green coat yours?

Mom: yes.

Cashier: She looks just like my son.

He then proceeds to show us a picture of his son. This is where things get creepy because not only does the son who is 14 look EXACTLY like me with shoulder length curly brown hair and glasses, he also happens to have died a year ago. (No, I don’t know from what.) Even a co-worker is agreeing that I look like the deceased son.

I refused to go back any time soon to that store, although my parents don’t usually see the guy there and when they did once see him, he didn’t seem to recall them. I have gone once before and thankfully he wasn’t there.

Unfiltered Story #28284

Unfiltered | December 29, 2016

(I’m walking with my sister back to our house. Recently, I said “question moink” instead of “question mark”, which she thought was hilarious. We were still in stitches when this happened)

Me: (talking into phone) Siri, what is a question moink, question moink?

Sister: (collapses in a giggle fit on the sidewalk)

Man Watering Flowers: (drowns one poor hydrangea)

Unfiltered Story #32584

Unfiltered | December 29, 2016

(I’m in art class. Our project is to make plastic keychains, which we have done before. There are no power tools involved, just manual ones. Note that I am a notoriously quiet student who never interacts with our art teacher.)

(The art teacher circulates to my table to check on us when another student walks over.)

Student: Hey, [Teacher], I’m done cutting! What do I do now?

Teacher: The next thing is to use the hand drill and make a hole for the keyring.

Student: Ugh, can you just do it FOR me?

Me: *involuntarily does biggest eyeroll ever*

Teacher: *points at me* Ha! That was the best expression!

(Student turns around.)

Me: *poker face*

(Student walks away with a sniff.)

Unfiltered Story #47973

Unfiltered | December 28, 2016

(The young ladies of my family have a tendency to be promiscuous and very irresponsible at the same time, something that I do not agree with. My boyfriend is comfortable with a sex-less relationship, but my older sister likes to tease him about it. One day my boyfriend and I are skyping with my sister. She has been teasing him the entire time, and playing a video game.)

Sister: (to other players in her game) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Me: FINE! >boyfriend<, take off your pants!

(I then hung up the skype call, but not before she screamed loud enough to scare her cats. She doesn’t tease him anymore.)