Unfiltered Story #67289

Unfiltered | September 6, 2016

(I work at a cookie shop, we sell cookies and ice-cream and those are the only items on display)

Me: Hello, Can I help you?

Customer: *Says something incomprehensible*

Me: I’m sorry I didn’t catch that, can you repeat it?

Customer: Two Scotch pies

Me: We don’t sell pies I’m afraid, sorry

Customer: Do you not?

Me: The shop around the corner does, you could try them

Customer: Oh…

Unfiltered Story #56937

Unfiltered | September 6, 2016

(I work in the office of a small trucking business. All of the office work is handled by me and an older lady who I get along with quite well. One day, one of the truckers comes into the house to talk to her, and gets on the subject of politics. It’s clear they’re both conservative Republicans; I’m a very liberal Democrat, so I keep my head down and don’t get involved.)

Him: So are you voting for Trump?

Her: No, he’s awful!

Him: What, so you’re voting for Hillary?

Her: No! But Trump isn’t any better.

(They get into a heated argument about Trump, with him trying to convince her to vote for Trump. She stands her ground and eventually he leaves. A few minutes later, I come over with some documents for her.)

Her: *flustered* Oh, I’m sorry dear, I really hope I didn’t offend you, I don’t mean to offend anyone, I just–

Me: Oh, don’t worry, I hate Trump too. I don’t like Hillary either, but Trump acts like a four year old child, and I don’t want a four year old child for president.

Her: *gasps* Oh! That’s good! I should’ve said that!

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Unfiltered Story #47896

Unfiltered | September 6, 2016

It’s Fathers Day. My mom is talking to my grandmother about what she got my grandfather for a trip later in the summer. Note that this is over the phone.

Mom: Yeah, I got him something he can use while we’re on [trip].
(Pause)

Mom: No, [Grandmother], it is not a personal fan.

Me: (Cracks up laughing)

Unfiltered Story #28171

Unfiltered | September 6, 2016

Conversation overheard at the laundromat between some people sitting behind me:

A – Oh girl, I like that! Where’d you get it?

B – Dollar Tree.

A – What’d it cost?

B – (pause) A dollar.

(I have no idea what the object in question was.) :-)

Unfiltered Story #32472

Unfiltered | September 5, 2016

(I have discovered an exploit with our email systyem at school that lets you type in anything, so long as it has the prefix @[school’s initials].school.nz. [Friend] rather stupidly typed his own version into the email login, and [His Friend] whom I rather dislike notices.)

Friend (looking like he’s onto something): “[My Organization][email protected][school’s initials].school.nz.”

(It logs on to his account because of the exploit.)

His Friend (smiling at me with a stupid little face): “[My Organization][email protected][schools initials].school.nz.”

(It logs on to his account because of the exploit.)

His Friend: “Get Rekt.”

Me: “So you’re using my organization as an insult?”

His Friend: “I was never insulting you, how is this an insult?”

(I wonder..)