(I’m in my freshman physics class working on a lab sheet with my group. Since we’re all writing basically the same thing, we reference each other’s papers quite a bit. One of my groupmates leans over to check her answer with mine, then sees a word I’ve used.)
Groupmate: “Ooooh, breaking out the big words?”
Me: “. . . It’s six letters.”
I’ve just turned 31 and am in my hometown visiting family for the occasion. This night I am going out with my Dad, Stepmother, and youngest nephew who is 6yrs. I don’t get along terribly well with this side of my family and thus don’t see my nephew often so he is all too happy to chatter my ear off about anything and everything while we’re stuck in the backseat. For clarification he calls my step-mother Nene while we have always called her mother Nana.
Nephew- *holding a small stuffed penguin we’ve been playing catch with* Have you ever played hot potato?
Me- Yeah
Nephew- Are you sure?
Me- Yeah kid I’ve played hot potato it’s been awhile but I have.
Nephew- Have you ever played it with a REAL hot potato?
Me- Ok I might be older but I’m not that old that’s more something Nene might have done.
There is a beat of silence that can only come with a well delivered burn but to my stepmother’s credit she’s quick to defend
Stepmother- Oh Nene isn’t that old. That’s probibly something your Nana did.
I worked as a line cook in a very popular buffet restaurant . I would cook pasta to order. Sometimes I would get fresh stacks of clean metal plates , very hot, right out of the dishwasher. After a while working there, your hands become less sensitive to the heat.
I hand over the hot plate with food, holding it with my bare hand.
Me: Here you are sir. Grab a napkin the plate is hot.
He looks at me, seeing that I am not uncomfortable at all holding his plate.
Customer: No, that’s ok.
Me: Please grab a napkin. It is very hot.
Customer: I will be fine.
Me: It is very, very hot.
Customer: Looks at me slightly annoyed.
Me: Ok
I give it to him but I don’t let go. As soon as he touches it, he lets it go like a hot potato.
Customer: It’s hot!
(My sister and I are discussing what kind of guy we like while drinking some tea.)
Sister: “I like that guy from the 70s show.”
Me: “Which one? Lemme guess, Kelso?”
Sister: “Fez.”
Me: *spitting out drink*
Sister: “He’s cute. Well, not when he’s Fez…the actor, I mean!”
Me: “Oh.”
(I was giving the fitting room associate her 15 minute break. While she was gone I had a customer who was very argumentative about a two piece suit she wanted to purchase for church. the customer walks out and I greet her as usual.)
Me: “Hi! Did everything go well?”
Customer: “No, do you know why no one buys your two piece suits? Because of this I WILL NOT BE BUYING IT.”
Me: “Acutally, I don’t. Why?”
Customer: “Because you attach them together with one of your security tags!”
Me: “I apologize but we have many people who will swap out sizes for different tops and bottoms, but you can always go to customer service and get the security tag removed so you can try it on more comfortably. ”
Customer: “Why would I do that? Why cant you all just have serpate tags on them?”
Me; “like I said previously, people will swap out different sizes for the tops and bottoms. Again I apologize but I don’t make the rules for corporate. I just follow them.”
Customer: “Well I am sorry to take it out on you but it is ridiculous to have them secured together. I WILL NOT BE BUYING IT!”
Me: ” I heard you the first time you said you will not be purchasing it. Anything else I can help you with? ”
Customer: “Yes, learn some good f****** customer service ”
Me: “Okay, hope your day gets better.”
