I am reading Not Always Right while at my Nana’s apartment with my aunt and a nurse.
Aunt: I don’t think she’s paying attention.
Nana: She’d have perked right up if she’d heard that.
Me: (Looks up) Why is everyone looking at me?
(They burst into laughter)
Aunt: I just said that Kaleb (Cousin) is Nana’s favorite.
Me: That’s not true.
Nana: (Cousin 2) would also disagree. And so would (Cousin 3)!
(At my school, our desks are shaped like triangles and arranged in groups of four called ‘pods.’ The general idea of this is to promote cooperation and asking for help when necessary; however, naturally, if a group of friends sits together, it can cause some disturbances. My senior year, several of my friends and I all decide to take Bio II and I end up being in the same class period as 2 of them. Obviously, we all sat together our first class.)
Teacher: “Okay, by next class I’ll have a seating chart for y’all in alphabetical order. I know y’all don’t like this but it’s so I can split you and your friends up and learn your names easier!”
(Next class roles around and me and my friends can’t help but laugh. While we’re sitting at a different pod, we’re all still sitting together since our last names are very similar alphabetically. It’s been a few months and she still hasn’t moved any of us.)
I come from a big family. My oldest brother is 23 years older then me. My mom tells this story all the time:
When I was two, he lived at home with us for the first time since he was eleven, due to some problematic circumstances when he was young. Apparently, when he was watching me one day, I started sobbing and screaming for no reason, not telling him anything. So he panics and calls mom, and starts yelling.
Mom: Did you try getting her some food?
Brother: No! No, it’s not that, she’d say she’s hungry if it was that, mom, what do I do?!
Mom: She’s two! She’s not going to say “Hey, *brother’s name* can I have some food?” Make her something to eat and call me back if that doesn’t fix it.
She never got a call back.
My brother now has his own daughter, and whenever we see him feeding her, we make sure to make a joke about it.
(My friend and I walk into our chemistry class early, coming off of lunch break. The only notable feature of the room is that the projector screen is down and there is a still image of a fiery explosion onscreen. I really like fire.)
Me: “This looks fun!”
Friend: *eyeing me warily* “I really hope you’re not handling the chemicals today.”
My husband and I were moving from a distant suburb into the city centre, almost 60 km away. Our new neighbourhood is known for being full of well-to-do, entitled people. On moving day, there was no parking available in front of the new house, so the movers parked the truck in the lane which separated our back yard from the back yard of the neighbour on the next street over. Our new neighbour promptly came out and complained to us that the movers would damage the roses along her back fence and they needed to park elsewhere. We politely explained that there was no parking available in front of the house. She replied that we should have blocked off space in front of the house ahead of time. I replied “We just arrived here from another city. How were we supposed to be here to block off the road?” She stared at us blankly then went back to her yard. We never spoke to her again.
