Customer: I‘ll have the [savory crepe]

Me: (confirming order) Okay, so you would like the [savory crepe] with tomato, basil, and mozzarella?

Customer: yeah

(Later, I bring out the table‘s food)

Customer: This isn‘t what I ordered!

Me: You ordered the [savory crepe], correct?

Customer: Yes, but this isn‘t [savory crepe]! Let me see the menu!

(I bring her the menu and she looks at it for a minute)

Customer: (huffs and rolls her eyes): Ugh, I wanted the [sweet crepe with completely different name]!!

(An alpaca farm is having an open house, and me and my mom decide to go. At the time I was in my mid 20s, but frequently mistaken for much younger, which I think came into play here. There are lots if visitors this day, young and old. One alpaca, who is out for petting is particularly fluffy, and this very odd scenario crops up.)

Me: “Oh my goodness. Look at his cute, fluffy butt! I want to pet him!”

(My mom pops off for a second, and I pet the alpaca on his back and neck, telling him he’s a cute alpaca and a good boy, the usual. Suddenly an employee approaches as my mom returns.)

Employee: “Excuse me! We really cannot permit you to do that!”

Me: “Huh? Did I do something wrong?”

Employee: “We ask that you refrain from touching the animals inappropriately.”

Mom: “Inappropriately?”

Employee: “I witnessed your daughter reach down and touch this alpaca in a sensitive area. We ask that you do not touch the private areas of the animals, and if you persist you will be asked to leave.”

Me: *stunned* “I didn’t touch him anywhere inappropriate! I was petting his back!”

Mom: “Why in Earth would she ever do something like that? She wouldn’t touch an animal like that!”

Employee: “Ma’am I witnessed it. If your daughter cannot follow the rules, and treat our animals with respect, you will have to leave.”

(We were so stunned, confused and embarrassed that we just decided to take her up on it and leave. I guess the employee heard me joking about the alpacas furry behind, and must have also thought I was a teenager but I have no idea why she’d lie about me touching him inappropriately. It was seriously bizarre and soured what should have been a fun day.)

I work in an electronics store and one evening a man and a woman in their 40s came in to the store with a portable speaker that he had bought at another location of the chain a few days ago. He said it turned off within seconds of starting it and wanted a new one on warranty. He hasn’t used the bluetooth function but had bought an additional cable to connect the speaker to his phone and laptop which he had brought with him as well as the speakers box. Since this brand of speakers is known for its quality I found this very weird and asked him to demonstrate the issue for me. He took up the speaker, plugged it together to his phone and we got to hear a few seconds of a song before the speaker went quiet. We tried again and got to hear the music for maybe two seconds before it turned off.

I checked on the speaker and asked if this continued after charging. The man suddenly looked like a questionmark and asked if it needs power to work. I nodded and he said he needed to get new batteries if that’s the case. I told him the speaker comes with a built in rechargable battery that is charged through a cable to the socket in the wall. When the man asked to buy such a cable I looked in the speakers box and lifted up a smaller box and opened it and took out a small charging cable, stil in its plastic bag and showed him.

Suddenly the woman spoke up and questioned why the speaker didn’t charge through the audio cable from the laptop or phone. After an inner facepalm I explained that the audiocable was for audio only. It has a separate plug for the charger and the cable is different. I showed them on the speaker were they were side by side.

I told the man to go home, charge the speaker with the cable until the small indicator turned green and if he come back if he still had a problem. He has not returned.

During a lab we were processing livers to extract DNA samples to place through a centrifuge. After all of the DNA was processed and separated there were some individuals that were lacking samples.

Me: ::Using microscope, examining samples::

Girl: DOES ANYONE WANT TO SHARE SOME DNA WITH ME?

Whole Class: ::Stares at her in silence with smirks::

Me: Sorry, I’m married.

Whole Class: ::Erupts in laughter::

Professor Airhead: Wait, did she just ask to share DNA with all of you?

(I’m a big fan of Pokémon and have been for a good chunk of my life. I have a speech class that requires a show and tell speech, and I bring in my old deck of Pokémon cards, a gift from my cousin when we were younger. I talk about trading him for the cards I wanted as the cards were scattered all over the floor and how I still love the franchise, even though I’ve had people tease me for it. In fact, the day before no less than four people—two students, a teacher, and my mother—have all made fun of me because I made a Pokémon reference or mentioned playing the mobile game. The speech goes well and no one says anything negative. One of the other girls in the class comes up to me in the hallways during break. She is by no means the soft, sentimental type—in fact, she usually looks like a gang member would if they had to follow our school’s dress code.)

Girl: “[My name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Girl: “Nice job with your speech. It was really brave of you to bring those cards in.”

Me: *beaming* “Thank you!”

(It meant a lot to me that she didn’t make fun of me for my interest in Pokémon. I’m still a fan today and remember her whenever someone complains or rolls their eyes.)