My son works at an amusement park, as his second job. He is an adult.

His ride is geared towards very small children, sometimes accompanied by their parents.

Me: How is that new ride working out?

Son: It’s going well, I have to fasten seatbelts. If the strap is between their legs, I ask them to hand it to me. One lady thanked me.

Me: walks away with a whole new level of respect for my son.

[I regret to say that I’m the bad customer in this story. Thankfully, I wasn’t too insufferable. At least, I think.
My step dad was getting my brothers and me ice cream from the ice cream truck that was going down our street. I saw that they had a banana milkshake, and..]

Me: Could I have a banana milkshake?

Employee: And is that with vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Me, thinking he hadn’t heard me: Banana, please.

Employee: ..Yes, okay, but would you like that to be made with vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Me, realizing something’s wrong but not knowing what: ..Banana?

Dad: No, the ice cream-

Me: Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry, vanilla, please.

[I hope the guy didn’t get too frustrated just because I forgot how milkshakes are made.]

I work at a religious retreat center. Over the summer camp starts and kids from all over come to stay the week. I work in housekeeping and often use a red wagon to carry sheets from the lodges to laundry.

Girl (about 12 years old from my guess): What are you doing?
Me (carrying sheets in the wagon): moving these sheets
Girl: Can I ride in the wagon?
Me: I’m sorry but no, I need it to carry these dirty sheets.
Girl (walking to keep up with me): I can sit on them!
Me: I’m sorry but it’s still a no
Girl: (trying to get into the wagon while I’m still walking)
Me (walking faster): I said no, I need this wagon to do my job!
Girl’s mom: *girl’s name* what are you doing?! Leave her alone!
Girl: (looks down and walks away)

When the group left, the girl left a note for the housekeeping staff thanking us for cleaning up and apologizing for the wagon incident.

Its story time.

I work the night shift at a 24 hour gas station.

A little while ago a guy came in, purchased a pack of cigarettes, gave me a $20, and said “Put the rest on pump 2.”

No problem… Except.

As I was dealing with the next customer, the cash register began to beep, and indicate that the first customer was actually at pump 3, not 2.

Since the register was tied up with the next customer, I thought the first customer had two choices.

1- Wait for me to move the fuel purchase from 2 to 3 as soon as the register was free.

Or

2- Move his car to pump 2.

However, I failed to consider a third option.

What he did was to move his car to pump 4, and wait for me to transfer his fuel purchase there.

I am a Latino person living in Japan since March (6 months ago) and have learned enough Japanese to handle myself around. My teacher and Japanese friends say I have excelent pronunciation (since Spanish sounds a lot like Japanese).

Most of the time I have no problems (seriously most of the time), but situations like this have happened a few times.

Me: (Japanese) Excuse me where is the bus stop.
Woman: I don’t undertand.
Me: Oh ok, sorry.
(Woman leaves)
Wait… didn’t she say that in Japanese? I was speaking Japanese!

My mom: Can I get some water please.
Waiter: No English.
Me: (Japanese) Water please.
Waiter: No English

Me: (Japanese) Where is the “Glico Man”?
Taxi driver: (Japanese) What?
Me: Glico man.
Taxi driver: (Japanese) What?
Me: (demostrates running and the Glico Man pose)
Taxi driver: Ahhhhh Guriko Man
Me: (to my mom) I’m so dumb, I forgot to say it in the Japanese way.

My friend (who speaks perfect Japanese) asks a question.
Person: (Speaks back in English).
My friend: (Japanese) What? Can you repeat please.
Person: (In English).

My friend doesn’t speak English.

Life in Japan is fun.