(My boyfriend and I in this scene are texting.)
Me: *sends picture of me doing the Had-To-Do-It-To-Em pose with a giant poster of angel wings behind me* had to do it to em
Boyfriend: your new nickname is angel.
Me: the “had-to-do-it-to-em” angel.
Boyfriend: you are my angel.
(I think I’m in love!)

I normally volunteer at the library’s information desk, but I haven’t in a few months because of construction. It’s been a massive headache for everyone involved, and it sucks for me because I love volunteering there. I had put some books on hold and went to the holding room to pick them up.

Man: (to me) How long can I borrow these DVDs?

Me: Um, I don’t work here.

Man: Oh my, I’m so sorry!

He was really apologetic about it and felt bad about assuming I worked there.

I’m on the metro (subway) with a group of friends and start looking at a sign that requests that people not buy from vendors or donate to musicians since they’re technically not allowed to do those things in the trains. (Oh please… Nobody’s going to stop because of a little sign!) I notice that the musician stick figure is holding a guitar with no strings, so I decide to point it out:

Me: “I don’t think he’ll be able to play very well!” *pointing to sign*

Friend: “Oh, because he’s got no fingers?”

Me: “…”

I stared laughing so hard that I was still giggling when we got off at the next station! It was a detail I’d totally missed and her casual response made my night.

(I need my father to sign something. I bring the paper and one of my pens, which is different from the rest of the pens in the house, since it has a cap and is more like a stiff, fine-tipped marker. He attempts to write his initials on the paper, but the ink doesn’t come out.)

Dad: *looks at the pen in confusion*

Me: “. . . You need to take the cap off, Dad.”

I worked around Ph.D. scientists long enough to realize that an advanced degree did not imply any degree of common sense.
Hence, when I exited one door of my lab and saw that some electricians had, for unknown reasons, left the faceplate of an electrical panel off — without any indication whether the totally exposed electrical connections were live or not — I immediately enlisted a colleague to stand watch and warn passers-by away till I found out one way or the other.
Likely a good thing I did. I contacted our safety director, who came by and concluded the entire panel was live. Some absent-minded person could have touched the connections and been blown away. (And, yes, I do think that was a real possibility.)