I submitted a review on a major chain hotel that I stayed at in Florida a few weeks ago. It was a reasonably thought-out review, ultimately noting the pros and cons of the hotel (being next to an interstate, out-of-date decor, etc.); in particular, I noted that despite the meh-ness it was a better value for included early-hour access to the park chain it is near than staying at the hotels that are part of the parks.

That last bit got the review flagged for “mentioning a competitor” (even though I was clearly saying “In spite of your failings you still present a better value for money” in the specific context of the one big selling point of the hotel).

So I dropped everything to one star and wrote in the following review in an attempt to pull it:
“Due to the handling of this review, I am effectively withdrawing it. Thank you for reminding me why I stopped staying with [chain] on a regular basis two years ago.”

That “review” was promptly approved.

(I overhear this conversation between an older colleague and a younger colleague.)

Older: Can you get the play dough ingredients box? It’s in the staff room in the cupboard up the top. *gestures up*

Younger: So, in the store room?

Older: No, not the store room. The staff room. In the cupboard up the top. *gestures up*

Younger: So, the cupboard down the bottom? *gestures down*

Older: No, in the cupboard up the top. *gestures up*

Younger: So, up the top but not in the cupboard?

Older: I’ll get it.

Younger: No, I can do it! Let me get it!

Older: *walks off to get it herself*

(I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now, but we haven’t really talked about making things official. One day, though, he asks me if I want to go to his company picnic with him, and I agree to go. He tells me that his co-workers have been asking questions about his love life, and has decided to bring me along to help answer them. Things go off smoothly, and I think all is well. A few weeks later, while we’re watching TV together, he makes a remark about his co-workers.)

Guy: “So, [Co-worker] asked me today if you were my girlfriend, or if I had just brought a friend with me. Apparently, everyone is trying to figure it out.”

Me: “What did you tell her?”

Guy: “I told her ‘sometimes’.”

Me: “*pondering his response for a moment* Well, at least you didn’t say no!”

My first boyfriend (freshman year of high school), our first date was to the Denny’s down the street from the school. Ok, no problem. But then three of our mutual friends join us (was slightly disappointed but nbd), sitting in the booth next to us and he paid attention mostly to them. Then he kissed me (my first kiss) because they dared him to. They all laughed.

(I work in a college bookstore where the textbooks are sorted by author.)

STUDENT: I need a copy of Dante’s Inferno. You wouldn’t happen to know the author would you?

ME: You mean Dante?

STUDENT: Oh….