I work as a server assistant at a high end restaurant and I was just processing someone’s payment. At the end I ask “would you like a copy of your receipt?” and he goes “no thanks” so I begin to walk away and as I’m turned around, the customer calls to me, clearly annoyed and says “I need my receipt” and so I have to turn around and give it to him while apologizing for not giving it to him in the first place.

(It’s Thanksgiving in the US which means turkey dinner with the family but this year my mom, a medical professional, is working a shift for the holiday. As such we’ve delayed the dinner to the day after. The day of Thanksgiving my dad and I instead head to the local casino which has a turkey dinner buffet.)

Dad: *as we’re sitting down* Hey, see that guy over there?

(I look and see an older man with a big beard and worn clothing.)

Dad: That’s [Name]. He’s a vet I sometimes see around town, really nice guy. He’s homeless right now but whenever he gets enough money for a meal he comes here.

(We eat, during which I noted the vet is obviously taking his time so he can enjoy the meal while it lasts. As such we finish before him and a waiter comes to give us our check.)

Dad: By the way, I’d like to pay for [Vet]’s dinner.

Waiter: *grinning* Sorry, but another customer already paid for it.

Dad: Well how about his wine then?

Waiter: That I can do.

(It’s moments like this which make me proud to be part of my family.)

(I have an identical twin sister. The only noticeable difference between us is that her hair goes past her shoulders while mine is chin-length. This happens when I am shopping at the grocery store she works at.)

Customer: Hey, *Sister*! You got a haircut. Looks good.

Me: Uh, thanks, but-

Customer: Are you guys still having that sale?

Me: Sir, I’m not *Sister*. And, I don’t work here anyway.

Customer: *laughs* Good one. But, seriously, *Sister* is the sale-

Me: Sir, I’m her sister, and I don’t work here.

(I try to push my cart past him, but he grabs my arm and glares at me.)

Customer: Okay, it was funny the first time, but now you’re just being rude.

(Luckily, my sister happens to be passing by at that moment and rushes over to us.)

Sister: What’s going on?

(The customer looks from me to her and gets a terrified look on his face.)

Customer: CLONES!

(He then ran away screaming, knocking over a display of tea boxes in the process. My sister and I stand there dumbfounded for a moment.)

Sister: You saw that too, right?

Me: Yep. *pause* Do you need some help with those boxes?

Sister: Nah. Just promise you’ll put this on Not Always Right when you get home.

The building I work in is on a college campus and is kind of confusing so a lot of students will come in asking where their class is. One guy walks in and asks where room 107 is so I tell him to go out the door, take a left and then just follow the hallway all the way down and his classroom will be there. I even show him on the map and say multiple times “just turn left”. I bet you can’t guess which way he turned when he finally walked out the door…🤦‍♀️

Cue the confused look on his face as I see him pass my room a few minutes later going the correct way. At least he got it eventually!

(I take a martial arts class, and sometimes end up with injuries as a result. While I can usually deal with them on my own, I go to class one night and end up pulling something in my knee, which means I can’t bend it well and have to hobble home. I call my sister, who has a medical background, to discuss how to alleviate the pain and support the knee so it doesn’t get worse. Note: my sister lives in a rural area with a car. I live in Manhattan without one.)
Sister: I would suggest immobilizing it, either with an Ace bandage or a knee brace, taking an anti-inflammatory, and icing it. You should wear the brace while you’re relaxing, but it might be uncomfortable to walk in, so if you’re planning on doing a lot of walking, you could take it off for awhile.
Me *laughing*: I live in New York City.
Her: Yeah, I realized what I said right after I said it.