Unfiltered Story #32169

MO, USA | Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(This was during a combined high school and middle school field trip. The middle schoolers were talkative and a bit annoying, but one of the chaperones decided to have a bit of fun with them and tells us high scoolers about it)

Chaperone: “I managed to convince the middle schoolers to try and start a petition.”

Student #1: “ooh. About what?”

Chaperone: “to ban dihydrogen monoxide from their water.”

(We all laugh)

Me: “how were you able to do that?”

Chaperone: “well, Y’know, I told them that it’s found in people who die of cancer, it can be lethal in massive quantities, et cetera.”

Me: “well then. I wonder if they’ll actually start one.”

Chaperone: “[laughs] I haven’t told them the truth yet.”

(For those who don’t know: dihydrogen monoxide is the scientific name for water).

Unfiltered Story #66984

Perth, Australia | Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(I was stocking the shelves of the small-sized supermarket I work in when a strange-looking customer approached me).

Customer: Exshush me, I’m lookin for the throileth trush.

Me: What?!

(I wasn’t being rude, I really couldn’t understand him properly. After going back and forth a while, I decided to try something out)

Me: Sir, could you repeat what you said, just a little slower this time?

(The customer does exactly what I suggested)

Me: (slapping forehead) TOILET BRUSH!!!

Unfiltered Story #27898

Preston, England | Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(Me and my friends are talking about what we’ll be doing at college. The college I wanted to go to you needed 5 Cs to do a B-Tech or 4 Bs to do A-Level. I was opting for A-Level)

Me: I’m going to do English at [College]

Friend: They don’t do English B-Tech

Me: I know I’m going to do it at A-Level

Friend: But you need 4 Bs to get into A-Level

Me: …I know

Friend: Do you really think you’ll get that?

Me: Umm….Yes

(I got 5 Bs, an A and an A*, getting onto my course easily. I usually quite good at school so I have no idea why she thought I wasn’t good enough to get onto A-Level)

Unfiltered Story #47595

New York, New York | Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

(Note: I run a small home business, so when anyone in my family needs any packaging, bubble wrap or envelopes, they always come right to me.)

Sister: “Hey, I need to mail something. Where do I put the sticker?”

Me: “The sticker?”

Sister: “Yeah, the.. The sticker!”

Me: “Do you mean the stamp?”

Sister: “Yes, the sticker thing!”

Me, bemused: “You’re twenty years old, shouldn’t you know this by now?”

Sister: “It’s not my fault snail mail is confusing!”

Unfiltered Story #56624

Västerås, Sweden | Unfiltered | October 25, 2015

My mom just ate at IKEA, but she’s nice enough to buy me a Happy Meal at McDonalds. I tell her what I want, which is a Happy Meal with apples, Fanta and cheeseburger. She repeats this to the order machine, but we didn’t check the screen to see our order. This is what happens at the drive through:

Worker: So Happy Meal with Fanta, cheeseburger and carrots?

Mom: No, apples.

The worker apologizes and press a few buttons and we pay.

We pull up and mom happens to see the other worker packaging the meal, holding a bag of carrots. Maybe the second worker didn’t do any correction at all.

Mom: No, sorry, we wanted apples.

Worker #2: Sorry. Here you go.

So three screw ups in a row. While not terrible, it’s kind of annoying.

And as usual, no napkins in the Happy Meal packaging.

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