(At the time of this story, I was working as a Quality Assurance agent who monitored phone calls for a specific TV manufacturer based in the U.S. At times when no actual manager or supervisor was available – or more likely, just didn’t want to actually deal with customers – I would have to take the occasional escalated call. A call comes to me from a CSR with a user who has demanded a supervisor when we refuse to send out a technician to ‘fix’ his TV due to his refusal to do even base troubleshooting. If we can’t verify the problem is most likely with the TV itself, we won’t send a technician out – saving the company money and the customer’s time… but this guy isn’t having it.)

Me: “Hey, this is (my name) with (company); thanks for holding, and sorry for the wait. I understand you’re wanting a technician to come out and look at your TV?”

Customer: “Yes! The last guy said you wouldn’t send anyone out unless I do a bunch of tests, and that’s not my job.”

Me: “I totally understand the concern and frustration; we do always want to run through some basic troubleshooting to verify the issue is with the TV, and not an outside factor.”

Customer: “It’s NOT anything outside, it’s the TV. Your piece of (expletive) doesn’t work!”

Me: *checking the notes from the agent* “It looks like the issue you’re reporting is some intermittent signal loss? The picture and audio are going out briefly, right?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “And just for the sake of us being thorough, is this happening no matter what device you’re using – DVR, Blu-Ray, game console, whatever you have?”

Customer: “YES! It happens on EVERYTHING!”

Me: “Okay, and how does everything connect to your TV?”

Customer: “It’s all HDMI.”

(At this point, I’m willing to give the user the benefit of the doubt and believe he’s at least tested multiple devices to confirm the issue is the TV. I’m just about to make the ‘managerial’ call to send someone out, when…)

Customer: “I just can’t believe this. I paid good money for this thing, and my A/V guy got it all nice and set up, so your tech better not mess anything up.”

(The proverbial light bulb flares to life – an A/V guy usually, in my experience, means…)

Me: “I’m sorry, you said your A/V guy? When you said you have everything hooked up through HDMI, does everything run to the TV individually, or are all your devices connected to an A/V receiver and THEN to the TV through HDMI?”

Customer: *in the tone that immediately puts my hackles up* “Uh, it’s obviously through a receiver. Are you going to send someone out or what?”

Me: “Well, this complicates things a little. Before I could send someone out, I’ll need to have you at least try connecting something to the TV directly to see if the issue is with the receiver, and not with the TV.”

Customer: *yelling* “It’s NOT the receiver, it’s your STUPID TV! I paid over $1,000 for this thing PLUS getting it mounted to the wall, so you’re going to send someone out – I can’t even get to all the cords back there anyway!”

Me: “Here’s the thing with that. With a setup like that, and the TV being wall-mounted, we would need to have it dismounted and available in a serviceable location first before a tech would be able to touch it. If it has to come down first anyway, that would be the time to connect something to the TV directly and see if the problem continues.”

Customer: “I’m not doing that.”

Me: “Then… we won’t be sending a technician out.”

Customer: “It’s not even a year old, it’s still under warranty!”

Me: “That is true. The warranty also clearly states the TV has to be free of any wall mounts and in a serviceable location before any kind of service would be performed.”

(The customer raged on for a few minutes here, throwing around threats of lawsuits, calling the BBB, the media, demanding to speak to the CEO, etc. I just sat there quietly, occasionally making polite customer service noises, until he ran out of steam and asked if I was still there.)

Me: “I’m here, I just wanted to let you finish. Here’s where we’re at. Even IF the service tech came out, the VERY FIRST THING they’re going to do is connect a device to the TV directly on that same HDMI port to see if the issue replicates. If it doesn’t – and I’m almost entirely sure it won’t – they’re going to write the issue off as source-related or a faulty HDMI cable. So ultimately you’ll need to take the TV down ANYWAY and have your A/V guy check the receiver and his own setup. It’ll be a lot faster to take that step first rather than wait 2-3 business days for a tech to be available.”

Customer: “FINE. I’ll take the TV down and have my guy come out. But it’s NOT that, it’s YOUR piece of (expletive) TV. So I’m gonna call back tomorrow when I can prove it, and then you WILL be sending someone out to REPLACE this junk with a brand-new TV.” *click*

(I didn’t even get a chance to tell him about the warranty’s specifications that it was manufacturer’s discretion on repair vs. replacement, or that replacement would most likely be with a refurbished unit… probably for the best, he was already fired up. I checked his case file religiously every day for the next month, and he never called back.)

A customer comes up and asks about her photo order.
Me: Yes ma’am how can I help you today
Customer: I wanted to see if my photo was ready for pickup.
Me: Ok. Can you give me your last name?
Customer: “says last name”
Me: Goes to look for her photo. I tell the customer I don’t see it.
Customer: Well they usually print mine right away.
I ask her when she ordered it, but she doesn’t answer. I just tell her it’s not ready yet.
She walks away angry with me. After she walked away, her order pops up in the computer. She was so early for her photo that the computer had not even received it yet, even though we “always print hers right away”. Which we don’t. I had never seen her before and she is not a regular.

(My friend and I are attending a gig together. They go to the bar during the opening act to get a drink, and a very drunk guy starts talking to them. Note that as this is a metal band, most of that gig-goers are wearing rock/metal/punk style outfits. Think black clothing, chains, metal band shirts, leather jackets, big heavy boots etc. This guy is wearing blue jeans, trainers, and a plain white tshirt so he’s fairly noticeable.)

Drunk dude: hey, is that your boyfriend? *points to a random man standing near the bar*

Friend: …no? I don’t know that guy.

Drunk dude: Oh OK. So do you have a boyfriend? Do you like this band? Where do you live? *he goes to put his arm around my friend who moves away from him*

Friend: Look I’m here to see the band not get hit on by a stranger and I definitely don’t want you to touch me. Jog on and we won’t have a problem.

Drunk dude: Oh OK, sorry. *he keeps hovering near my friend the whole time they’re waiting to be served, apologising again and trying to touch their arm/shoulder every time*

(When my friend gets back they tell me about this and we laugh a bit about how they gave the dude an easy out and he kept digging himself deeper, then forget about it. When the main act starts I go to stand at the edge of the crowd while my friend goes to mosh, and who should turn up next to me? The drunk dude who can’t take a hint.)

Him: *dancing obnoxiously in front of me, blocking my view of the stage*

Me: *rolls my eyes and avoids eye contact as I keep trying to watch the band*

Drunk dude: *reaching out to take my hands and get me to dance with him*

Me: *shakes my head and points my thumb sideways to tell him to f*** off*

Drunk dude: *says something I can’t hear over the music and starts thrusting his hips at me*

(At that point I walked away and thankfully he didn’t follow me, but jeez dude. He must have been making his way round everyone at the gig who looked like a girl and, unsurprisingly, striking out every time. Some say he’s still inappropriately touching strangers at gigs to this day.)

(We’re having strawberries for desert, and it’s my job to wash them and cut the crowns off. As I’m doing this, my dad decides it’s a good time for one of his jokes. Little relevant background-info: He used to be head of a large hospital-kitchen.)
Dad: “[My Name], don’t forget to peel the strawberries.”
(I know my dad’s sense of humor, it has previously led to my ending up with a mouth full of grass-seeds, getting shocked by an electric fly-swatter, and other “joys”. I have learned to take what he says with a very large pinch of salt.)
Me: “Ha ha, very funny. I’m not gonna fall for that one, dad.”
Dad: “Well, good for you, that means you’re smarter than most of the new hires I used to train in the kitchen.”
(He proceeded to tell me a long series of stories involving him asking new hires to do some useless job like peeling strawberries or de-seeding grapes, or trying to find a non-existing object like a waterproof dishcloth or an egg-sieve. I sometimes feel quite sorry for the people who used to work for my dad.)

I have a set of ongoing prescriptions that I get filled as needed. I went to the doctor a few months ago and got refills on all of them sent to the pharmacy. The last time I called in my prescriptions, the system said this is the last refill on some of them. I call the pharmacy to see if there’s a new set of prescriptions. After going through the rigamarole to talk to a representative and being put on hold for ten minutes, this happens.

Me: I just refilled two of my prescriptions yesterday and they said I had no more refills after this. I just wanted to make sure I have a new set of prescriptions.

Pharmacist: What are they?

Me: *lists medications*

Pharmacist: [Medication 1] and [Medication 2] are ready. [Medicine 3] has one more refill. Do you want me to fill it now?

Me: No, I just want to see if the doctor sent in a new set of prescriptions.

Pharmacist: [Doctor’s Name] sent in one for [Medicine 1] and [Medicine 2] because you refilled them yesterday. [Medicine 3] has one refill, and [Medicine 4] has no refills.

Me: *suspecting that those refills are for the current set of prescriptions I have* OK.

Pharmacist: Do you want me to put the two prescriptions already filled back?

Me: *tearing hair and somewhat alarmed* No, leave them!

Pharmacist: OK, thank you.