(When were we little, my sister and I loved Christmas. We had family over, and mom would always make stew. So we’d set out the utensils and napkins, etc but we’d run out. There was no time to get more so what to do?)
Sister: “Here, give this to dad.”
(We gave him a ladle, the kind used to scoop rice.)
Dad: “Hey, what this ??”
Sister: *deadpan* “It’s for your big mouth dad.”
(We giggled as he figured out the problem and used it, much to the amusement of the rest. Soon after that, the ladle was named The Big Mouth Spoon and was always given to him.)
Let me press that for you.
Co-worker calls me over going “YOu GOTTA come up here! Something is broken”!
*walks over.*
co-worker: “look I cannot login, and i’ve entered my pin twice already.”
me: *Press number lock* ” dude, it was off.”
co-worker:… I’m sorry.
me: “it’s cool. If you want me to come over and press the # lock for you again, just let me know.”
I’m the cashier in the underground pub on my college campus. We close at 8pm and stop serving burgers at 7:45pm because it would be past closing by the time they’re done cooking, and our student workers need to get home. Two students walk in.
Customer #1: can I have the impossible burger?
Me: sorry, we don’t serve burgers after 7:45
Customer #1: oh..ok
Customer #2: (snarky) it’s 7:43 not 7:45
Me: …..okay well it’s still gonna take at least 15 minutes to cook the burger and we close at 8 so I can’t sell it to you
They both rolled their eyes and left
An older lady came up to my register with an armful of clothes. We were having a happy little conversation until…
Customer: “You seem like a very good young boy.”
Me: “Oh, well thank you! That’s very nice of you to say.”
Customer: “But I bet there’s times when you aren’t so good.”
Me: “Um what?”
Customer: “I bet there’s times when you’re….bad.” She leaned in as she said the last word to make it extra creepy.
Me, after realizing what she was meaning: “OH no I’m good all the time!”
I laughed, trying to make light of the conversation, and she laughed too, but I still finished her transaction as fast as I possibly could and sent her on her way. People talk about old guys being creepy (which I definitely agree with, but old ladies can be creepy too!)
There is a major event going on in my small town. I work at a local restaurant as a busser. It is a Mexican restaurant and the chefs don’t speak perfect English.
I am in high school and have been working for over 5 hours without break. I am tired and hungry. One of the chefs in back is eating a churro. He hands Part of one to a waiter. Jokingly, I ask him where mine is. He tears a lot of from the one he picked up, leaving only I bite for himself. I am instantly mortified because I realize I took his churro. He waved me off. The churro really did help me to continue my shift but his act of kindness was even more nice.
