Unfiltered Story #32312

Unfiltered | March 16, 2016

(We are all at lunch when our principal comes up to us. Note: it’s about 2 weeks from the sweetheart dance at our school)

my friend: oh no not again…he does this every dance…

me: does what?

principle: *approaches us* SWEETHEART IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND MR. [PRINCIPAL’S NAME]’S DATING SERVICE IS NOW OPEN, WHO DOESN’T HAVE A DATE!?

everyone: *points to two of my friends and then to me*

principal: *turns to me* YOU DON’T HAVE A DATE

me: no sir

principal: DO NOT FRET, I’LL FIND YOU A DATE! NOW WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A GUY?

me: someone taller than me?

principal: Amazing! What about [points to guy friend]

everyone: HE HAS A GIRL FRIEND

principal: so?

everyone: YOU CAN’T DO THAT

principal: trust me, by the end of the week, I’ll have you the perfect day

me: thanks…?

(I ended up getting a date without his ‘dating service’, I who he would have picked)

Unfiltered Story #67127

Unfiltered | March 16, 2016

Note: Our store just had hackers get into our POS system and steal credit card information a few months prior to this exchange.

Me: Hi, how are you today?

Customer: I’m fine. Can I ask you something? Do you know if people have gotten their cards back?

Me: Umm… I’m not sure what you mean.

Customer: Their cards! Have people gotten their cards back?

Me: Do you mean our store credit cards?

Customer: UGH, NO! Look, I was one of the victims. My credit card information was stolen. I haven’t gotten my credit card back yet?

Me: Okay, I’m sorry about that.

Customer: So have people gotten their cards back?

Me: Well that depends on the bank. Our store cards take about a week to ship out after you request a new one.

Customer: Not your STORE CARDS! MY CARD!

Me: Well I’m not sure, that would depend on the bank. A few banks just cancelled everyone’s card and have already delivered the new-

Customer: You’re not answering my question!!!

Me: Well you’d have to ask your bank. I don’t know when you’re going to get your card. But other customers have gotten their cards back.

Customer: Okay. Thank you. Finally.

I finish the transaction silently and hand her her receipt.

Customer: Sorry if I wasn’t very clear. I just wanted to know if people had gotten their cards and you weren’t helping.

Me: (nod and bites lip) Have a good day.

Unfiltered Story #28039

Unfiltered | March 16, 2016

(I’m going on a camping trip with a wilderness/survival group, and we’re traveling off trail to find a camping spot. Note: my backpack weighs half as much as I do, and I am a very small, weak child.)

Instructor: “let’s try this way.”

(I’m following everyone else when my knee snaps backward and I crumple to the ground slowly. I have never sworn around these people.)

Me: “f***.”

Friend: “did you just say f***? You’re the most innocent person I know!”

Unfiltered Story #56762

Unfiltered | March 16, 2016

(My virus protection stopped working, because of some problem with the license. After a lot of fuss trying to get the UK helpline for the right department, I come through to the right line. Explaining the problem goes very slow, since the US call handler is having trouble with my accent and I’m having trouble with hers.)

Call handler: I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t seem to have any records of your purchase in our system. If you let my take remote access of your computer, I can have a look at the problem.

Me: Wait, but… how can there be no record? I have the purchased [anti-virus program] on my computer. I definitely paid for a year of cover. They even sent me the license number when I asked.

Call handler: *patronising tone* Ma’am, I need remote access to your computer to diagnose the problem.

(I reluctantly give it, and watch as she clicks on different things. Eventually, she goes to the company website and scrolls down to an advert for computer advice.)

Call handler: So, in order to find out about your problem today, you would need to select our [computer advice] service. That’s £64.99 for a 5min session and [more expensive prices for a longer session].

Me: *confused* What is this? Would this re-download [anti-virus progam] or…?

Call handler: This would be for advice on your problem, ma’am. *Quotes prices again, waving the cursor around the advert.*

Me: Didn’t you say that I’m not on your system though? There’s no record, so I don’t have cover via [anti-virus program]? I’d have to buy it again as well as paying for this advice session?

Call handler: That’s right, ma’am.

Me: *confused* I don’t really see the point then, to be honest. I might as well start from scratch and pick a new anti-virus system.

Call handler: *patronising voice* Ok, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with today, ma’am?

Me: Is there any chance you could tell me how to uninstall the [anti-virus program]? It recommended uninstalling and re-installing when it didn’t recognise my license number, but it won’t let uninstall it from my programs. It just says there’s an error.

Call handler: Yes, I can’t help you with that ma’am. You can’t uninstall it that way. However I can help you through our [computer advice] service. *waves cursor round the advert again*

Me: Oh, I guess that’s all then. Thanks. Bye.

(I’m not exactly tech savvy, but I ended up even more confused than when I started. How can they have no record of my purchase? Why didn’t she care about the license number they sent me? Why would I pay a load of money to fix a program just so I can re-buy it? I ended up trying for the ‘refund and cancel supscription’ option on their site, and got new protection from a different company. Still need to get the original program uninstalled though!)

Unfiltered Story #47737

Unfiltered | March 16, 2016

(My family is outside, and we are playing with our two dogs. I am throwing a disk for one of them to catch.)

Me: Mom look! She catches it in mid-air!

Mom (without looking): That’s nice honey.

Me: Seriously though, look! It’s so cool!

Mom (looking): Wow, she really does catch it! Let me try!

(Note: this particular dog, while being the family’s, mostly listens to me only) (My mom throws the disk, my dog watches it go and just walks to get it from the ground)

Mom: She’s not listening!

Me: Let me try again.

(I throw the disk, my dog catches it and brings it back.) Mom (to the dog): I never really liked you anyways.