Unfiltered Story #27936

Franklin, TN | Unfiltered | December 3, 2015

(Every Friday, our gym coaches let us have free day. Me, my friends and a new German exchange student like to play a twisted version of volleyball. While we’re playing, three people come up and ask to join.)

Boy: Can we play?

Me: Of course! Here, you two play on this team, and you go play on [Exchange Student]’s team.

(The three proceed to do nothing but take selfies and don’t actually play)

Me: *annoyed, since this is the way I relax every week and they’re in my way* Hey, are you guys going to play or not?!

(They ignore me)

Me: *even more irked* *in mechanical voice* This is a selfie-free zone. Use of electronics while the game is in progress may result in injury or death.

(They continue to ignore me. The exchange student, usually very laid back, seems to get irritated too. We play very rough, and with these kids around, we can’t hit the ball as hard as we like. So he sneaks up behind them and photobombs them. They laugh and go back to standing there.)

Me: Seriously, you guys, you’re gonna get hurt!

(They still ignore me. At this point, I’m very angry and about to go over there and steal the phone. But I don’t have to. My teammate hits the ball, and the way the other team deflects it, it hits the phone and knocks it out of their hands.)

Me: *in mechanical voice* Please keep all electronics safely put away during the game. Use of electronics while the game is in progress may result in injury or death.

(At this point I have to go and chase down a ball that the other team hit really hard. When I get back, the three selfie-students approach me)

Girl: *as if challenging me* What was it you said about selfies?

Me: *still in mechanical voice but much firmer and angrier* This is a selfie-free zone. Continued use of electronics while the game is in progress WILL result in injury or death!

(They laughed nervously and left. I’m not sure if they thought I was threatening them or what, but we had a fantastic game after that and I got into a fun tussle with the exchange student and one of his teammates.)

Unfiltered Story #56661

Alberta, Canada | Unfiltered | December 2, 2015

(On the weekends, I pick up breakfast at a popular Canadian coffee shop for my boyfriend and I. I drive a bit further than the one closest to our house, because the service and food is generally better. I am at the drive through speaker when..)

Me: can I please get an everything bagel, toasted with butter, a breakfast wrap with sausage, a medium Ice Cap, and a medium dark roast with two cream and two sweetener?

Cashier: okay, everything bagel, breakfast wrap, ice cap, and medium coffee with a cream and three sweetener? (I watch on the screen as she rings everything up correctly except the coffee)

Me: no, the coffee is two cream and two sweetener please

Cashier: yes, three sweetener

Me: …no, TWO sweetener.

Cashier: three?

Me: (kind of laughing because I don’t know how else to explain it) no, TWO. Like, one, two? Just two, please.

(The speaker suddenly goes off and then comes back on after the screen updates to show she has it right, and the cashier sounding SUPER mad)

Cashier: okay, is that right on the screen?

Me: yes, sorry, I hope I didn’t sound rude, I just didn’t know how to explain it.

Cashier: do you want any breakfast?

Me: …sorry?

Cashier: food. Do you want breakfast?

(At this point I realize she’s stalling as two other cars in the next lane pull ahead of me.)

Me: no, I’ve already ordered it, thank you.

Cashier: is your screen correct?

Me: yes, thanks.

Cashier: ok so that’s (repeats entire order slowly) please pull ahead.

(Three vehicles are ahead of me from the second lane, so I’m a bit miffed as I was trying very hard not to be “that customer” when she kept mistaking my order. when I finally get to the window, not one of the employees speak to me except to ask for my card. She shoves the bag through the window and nearly spills the coffee.)

Me: (as she’s returning my card) thanks, I know it can be hard to hear over the speakers and I hope you don’t mind me trying to clarify my order. Have a nice day.

(I drive away and discover when I get home, there is no butter on the bagel, bacon instead of sausage on the wrap, and my coffee seems to be made of entirely sugar. Guess I need to find a new breakfast place for the weekends!)

Unfiltered Story #32207

Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Unfiltered | December 2, 2015

Teacher: How many quadrant’s are in a cartesian plane?

Me: Four miss!

Teacher: Without calling out thank you.

Other student: (without putting his hand up) Four!

Teacher: Correct

Because…. reasons

Unfiltered Story #67022

Ireland | Unfiltered | December 2, 2015

(My cat disappeared one day, so when he turned up I decided it was time he got microchipped and a collar tag. I walked into town with him in a carrier to our local petshop, a small place but they take better care of the animals and know their products so I prefer them.)

Me,to cat: “Okay, we’re here. Stop crying…”

Clerk: “How are ya? Hi, [cat’s name]!”

Me: “A little panicked. He didn’t come home so we’re getting chipped and a new collar tag!”

(I let him out of the ca. rrier and clip on his lead. The clerk takes my details and I check them. We hear a bang and some ex cited chirping– my cat had jumped at a cage of canaries!)

Me: “[Cat’s name]! No! [to clerk] I’m so sorry!”

Clerk: *laughing as I go grab him* “Noo, you can’t have my canaries..”

Me: *relieved* “Maybe [resident grumpyAfrican Grey parrot], but that’d be an interesting fight…”

(Needless to say he was kept on a tight lead after that. And I should have remembered that was where he first tried hunting as a kitten.)

Unfiltered Story #27934

Chicago, IL | Unfiltered | December 2, 2015

(As I am growing up, my mom and I frequently visit Chicago due to having relatives in the area. One day during my teenage years, we have boarded the “L” train, and a middle-aged woman hops into our car, having just barely made it. As we get going, she is having a fairly loud conversation on her phone.)

Woman: “He probably thinks she’s sexy.”

(Pause.)

Woman: *getting a little louder* “I said, ‘He probably thinks she’s sexy.'”

(Pause.)

Woman *getting even louder* “I said, ‘He probably thinks she’s sexy.’ SEXY, SEXY, SEXY!”

(Mom and I just sat there, wearing our poker faces.)

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