Unfiltered Story #32162

VA, USA | Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

*this happened to one of my friends during health class, specifically during the week of sex ed*

Sex Ed Teacher: “Now kids, contrary to popular belief, everyone’s penis is the same size.”

*at this point, a random kid in the back pipes up*

Student:*holding his hand about 2 feet above the desk* “No, my d*** THIS big!”

Teacher: “[STUDENT]!! You will NOT use foul language in my class!”

Sex Ed Teacher: “The politically correct term is ‘penis.’

Student: “Ok. My penis THIS big!”

*my friend just silently laughs*

Unfiltered Story #66977

Anchorage, AK | Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

A couple entered the furniture store I work at. They were older folks, and said they were looking for many things. I gave them a very short version of the floor layout, and asked them if it was alright for me to check on them sometimes to make sure their questions were answered. They said this was fine.

The first time I check on them, the very friendly husband asks me some questions, I answer them and dismiss myself to allow them to keep looking in peace.

The second time I check on them, the husband finds a very nice oak CD rack and asks me if we have anything more narrow. I tell him I might, and that I’ll check around the store and catch up to them in a few minutes. I dismiss myself after answering another question of his about a table.

I find an item that matches the description of the oak CD rack, but I cannot find the husband for the life of me. I see the wife walking, and go to inform her that I’d found it.

Me: “Oh, ma’am, about that item your husband was looking–”

Woman: “Look, I didn’t come here to chat! I came here to JUST LOOK!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Woman: “Well you did!’

Me: “Just trying to feed my children, ma’am.”

With that, I look down at the floor, turn on heel and walk away pitifully. It has the desired effect (I don’t even have kids), and the customer loses all of her zeal, looks down at the floor, and walks straight out of the store in shame.

Maybe she’ll think twice from now on before she explodes on another retail salesperson for no reason at all.

Unfiltered Story #27889

italy | Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

“I’m 8 years old, I’m going to visit a friend of mine. He, his dad and his grandfather all have the same name”

*ringing the doorbell*

[his mom on the interphone] : hello? who’s there?

[me]: Hi!, is there [name]? *realizing there are 3 [names] there* … [surname]? *realizing all 3 have the same surname* … junior?

Unfiltered Story #27890

New York | Unfiltered | October 17, 2015

(Note: this takes place while in homeroom before class actually starts with a few classmates)

Me to classmate #1: “so you don’t know who Will Ferrell is?

Classmate #2: “Name any funny movie and I garuntee Will Ferrell is in it.”

*we all turn to classmate #1*

Classmate #1: “Elf”

Unfiltered Story #47587

Agusta, Maine, USA | Unfiltered | October 17, 2015

Several years ago we were exchanging gifts on Christmas eve with my Grandma, my Uncle and his family, and my family. I was about 12 years old at the time. Things got interesting when my 6 year old cousin gave Grandma a gift- gold sparkly underwear.

Grandma: Wooohoo! sparkly underpants!

a few hours later we kids were playing with our new toys when Grandma burst out of the bedroom wearing a shirt…and the gold sparkly underwear. no pants. She ran around the entire house.!

Grandma: woohoo!!! Gold sparkly Underpants!!!!

my 10 year old cousin: What WAS THAT??

Me: I don’t want to know….

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