Mom (On telephone) Where’s your son?

Me He’s outside.

Mom Aren’t you afraid someone will steal him?

Me, He’s 15 Mom

I am the customer in this story. I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for my husband. I am exhausted, have a pounding headache, and I’m trying to keep my three toddlers in the shopping cart. The lady takes the script and asks what my husband’s birthday is. I rattle off “February 2nd, 1992”. She pauses and asks me to repeat myself. I say it again confidently, albeit a little distracted. She hesitates again and then goes, are you sure it’s not the 20th? (which by the way is next week). I was so embarrassed and apologized for being daft but thankfully she was nice about it!

(We as a family are eating dinner the second night back from a car trip 13 not including stops hours each way. My younger sister is a MESS. After throwing plates and food to the floor with tantrums of course this happens):

Sis- but my meat is cold
Mom- to bad just wait
Me-you can’t put meat in the microwave
Mom*wispering to me * yes you can*
Me-whatever
Sis- I know!
Sis- we can put (my name) in the microwave and cook her and eat her
Me- (with a somewhat scared express On my face) uh.. that got dark. Fast.
Uh… I’m just gonna go to my room and do some umm umm umm cleaning

[I have worked at a location of a popular coffee chain store ever since it opened around 2 yrs ago and have moved to shift supervisor starting this holiday season; and this was a first even for me. We are located in a highly affluent and snooty area, but short drive away from rougher areas. This exchange occurred during a weekend’s early morning which is always a lesson in controlled chaos and endurance.]
(Drive thru coworker1): [INSERT STANDARD GREETING] What can we get started for you this morning?

(Male Customer): Hey y’aaalll got any sweet cold stuff? The kind that has coffee in it, but can’t taste it?
(DT Coworker 1, also male): Yeah my man! Whatcha wanna have it taste like? Caramel, chocolate, strawberry…?
(Customer): Caramel! Biggest one ya got! With a S***-TON A WHIP AN SUGAR AN ALL THa GOOD STUFF
(DT Coworker 1): Can do my guy! Come on around to the window for that total an we’ll get ya all fixed up
Customer: Hey an I want a young FINE ASS white girl ta make it!
(DT Coworker 2, young female, turns around from DT spot and starts making the large diabetic shock in a cup drink at cold blender station which is directly behind DT window and register station, unaware of conversation over headsets)

Newer model car pulls up to DT window and customer immediately reaches out car window and starts knocking on closed DT.
(DT Coworker 1): opening window, Hey we almost got that finished and your total is (x.xx)
(Customer): here *pushes a handful of crushed bills towards coworker* I’m beyond ready for this, all I been wantin for 6 months! You sure a white B**** is the one doing mine right?? Y’all got those here don’t ya??
(DT1): Ok you gotta tone down with that language here my guy. Can’t be calling ladies that, gonna get you in trouble. An 6months??! Man you living out in the boonies or been having to watch spending with that postholiday bill?
(For reference there are 5 locations of OUR chain of coffee house within a 30mile radius alone….and 3 other chains have one on same street as us within blocks)
Customer: NAAAHH MAAANNN….I just got ‘out’ *said with the biggest creepiest grin ever*
DT1: *not quite getting what he meant* Oh, uh…where from..?
Customer: Yooouu know man! From ‘The Penn’ (a local jail for state)
DT2 *finished drink and handed out window to him* thank you, have a good day!* and moves off make more drinks in line
Customer: *leers after DT2, watching as walked away* Yo!! You did fix me up! Daaaaam what’s her digits, get me tha hookup!!!
DT1: *steps into full view of window, blocking line of sight to any of us, 6’1″ football player btw* Man you gotta cut that out, can’t be hollering thru windows an doors at chicks! Gonna land you back where you got out from if you ain’t careful.
Customer: * looking genuinely confused* what u mean?? I gotta get me some, how else I gonna get it? Dam ex won’t put out…can’t even get a quickie before cops pulling up talkin bout “violatin the protection order” an S***
Customer drives off speeding thru parking lot and we all just die out laughing at WTF he really thought was Ok be doing and saying! Kicker? He was assisted again that night…for violation of that very protection order, that was a condition of his parole.

I came out to my mom as gay about two years ago. As a Muslim woman, obviously she wasn’t too happy about it. She told me she was disappointed in me and even at one point told me she would never love me in the same way she once did.

Recently, my boyfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary. I had no idea what to get him as a present and I guess my mom overheard me on the phone with my friend while I was talking about it, because the morning of our anniversary she called me downstairs. On the table was a little Petco box.

(some background information) My boyfriend has a big terrarium in his room where he keeps four frogs. He loves his frogs more than anything.

Me: is that a petco box? what did you get?

My mom: it’s a frog for (boyfriend’s name)! to add to his collection! they said his name is Big Daddy, isn’t that funny?

Me: that’s cute, but why’d you get him a frog?

My mom: it’s for you to give to him, you need a present!

This particular morning changed my entire view of people, especially family. There will be times when you feel as if they don’t love you, that you let them down and you can never gain that love back. But let some time pass and you will both understand that love conquers all. At the end of the day, my mother is still my mother. And she loves me. And I love her. And my boyfriend loved Big Daddy.