Unfiltered Story #32270

CA, USA | Unfiltered | February 8, 2016

I was in German class and I have been talking to a girl in that class for a few days and developed a bit of a crush on her. One day my teacher was talking to us about he first homosexual king of Germany

Me: That’s must have been pretty interesting, having a gay king. That doesn’t happen often in history.

Girl: Ugh, f*** are so f****** gross. It’s not right at all!

At this point I was stunned as I never heard anyone say that before, so I just pretended to agree and never talked to her ever, ever again.

Unfiltered Story #67090

Surrey, England | Unfiltered | February 8, 2016

(Our cinema closes the concessions stand to customers once the last film of the night’s main feature begins, I’m stocking up in front of the counter when a man and his two daughters come up hoping to buy a snack, it’s a Sunday, so the last film is not very late and thus children can go to it)

Colleague: I’m sorry sir the stand is closed.

Father: Really?

Colleague: Yes sir, the tills were taken up by our manager half an hour ago. We can’t process any payments at all and we’re cleaning and prepping the stand for tomorrow right now.

Father: All right then (begins to make his way towards the screens again)

Daughter: Why are they closing up now?

Me: Because the vast majority of our sales are before someone’s film starts, and if we waited for everyone to leave, we would go home between 2 and 6 in the morning. That’s a very long shift and we would like to go home and sleep before we get that late.

Daughter: Oh…

Unfiltered Story #28002

NSW Australia | Unfiltered | February 7, 2016

(My husband and I are both Gluten intolerant and a family friend is coming to stay for the night as everyone else’s houses were full. It was the last day of the week of a particular festival in town where I avoid going out as much as I can and therefore we didn’t have much food in the house.)

Me: So did you want a coffee this morning?

Friend: Hm no thank you, you don’t look like you have much milk left for my cereal.

Me: Well we are having leftovers for breakfast you are welcome to them. I apologise I don’t have much else.

Friend: Oh well I bought bread and peanut butter I can just have toast. May I borrow your toaster?

Me:(turning to husband) Hey do we actually own a toaster.. I don’t think we do…

Friend: you don’t own a toaster.. WHO DOSNT OWN A TOASTER!!!

Me & Husband: We cant eat bread, why would we own one?

friend: I spose.. But how am I going to make toast?

Me: We have a griller.

Unfiltered Story #47699

Ontario, Canada | Unfiltered | February 7, 2016

(Note, I am the author of http://notalwaysrelated.com/her-signing-is-whey-off/26805. In this, my mom had just picked me up from station. We are in her car when I spots this lovely blue old-fashioned car. I point it out to her)

Me: Mum! Look!

Mom: Oh! I like the dirt!

Me:…Dirt? -starts to laugh-

Mom: …COLOR! And this is why I shouldn’t sign when I’m driving!

Me: -LAUGHING- I love you, mom

Unfiltered Story #56724

Christchurch, New Zealand | Unfiltered | February 7, 2016

Due to a nasty flu going around, our office is extremely short staffed. Our receptionist is off and I’m sitting in reception to manage the phones, customers, and my normal work. A colleague eventually wanders in about 45 minutes late.

Colleague: Oh, are you here on your own?

Me: [sitting in a very obviously empty office]: Yes, the others are sick.

Colleague: [Receptionist] not here?

Me: [still sitting in a very obviously empty office]: No, she’s sick.

Colleague: [with the air of one conferring an enormous favour]: I’ll keep an ear out for the phones. [instantly turns around to go back out] I’m just going out for a coffee now.

[Disappears for half an hour]

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