Underwear Underperforming

(While we’re saving up money to pay off debts and buy a home, my husband and I rent a house with a good friend of his, who I also work with. In retrospect, this wasn’t a great idea. The friend and I work similar day shifts, while my husband often works long or overnight shifts. We have very thin walls, so I hear everything every time the friend has “company” over. We recently had a discussion about this, which lead to him assuming that I never get any action, and his lady friends have since become more vocal. I have given up and begun keeping headphones nearby. I should also note that while we typically do our laundry separately, some recently became mixed when the friend was attempting to be helpful. The following occurs while we are taking a break at work with another coworker, after we’ve shared the house for a few months.)

Coworker: “So, what’s it like living together?”

Me: “Not bad.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I’m a little disappointed.”

Coworker: “Why?”

Friend: “Well, I thought you would wear better stuff.”

Me: “What are you talking about? My clothes are fine. Why does that matter?”

Friend: “Not your clothes, exactly. I just mean I was disappointed when I found out that you don’t wear anything lacy. It’s probably why you don’t get laid. If you wore sexier underwear, your husband would want you more.”

Me: “Excuse me? That’s really inappropriate.”

Friend: “I just know he isn’t giving you anything. You really should wear something nicer for him.”

(I started to tear into him about minding his own business, but fortunately my coworker stepped in and redirected the conversation to something else. A lengthy conversation with him is planned, since moving isn’t an option yet. The good news is that at least I know he isn’t going through my closet, or he would really know that underwear is not an issue!)