Undercooked And Overconfident

Back when I used to deliver for a mom-and-pop pizza place, we had Sicilian pizzas. For those of you unfamiliar, imagine a huge square pan pizza made from four large dough balls. The dough and sauce were baked for nearly forty-five minutes before the cook would take it out and add the cheese/toppings for another ten or so minutes. That’s very important.

I take a delivery that’s just one of those pizzas. I get to the door, and an older lady answers. She immediately asks:

Customer: “Lift up a slice and show me the bottom of the pizza. I don’t think it’s cooked enough.”

Me: “Ma’am, feel free to pick up a slice yourself, but I’m not touching your pizza.”

Customer: “I’m not touching it. Take it back and get me one that’s properly cooked!”

Not having the time to argue, I take it back.

Now, the cook on duty hated customers, especially stupid complaints like that. So, she got a Sicilian that was in the oven for even less time than the original (dough was still raw in the middle) and gave it to me, saying:

Cook: “Here, it’s what she deserves!”

And wouldn’t you know it, the customer took it and loved it and said it looked great! It still makes me a little queasy to think about…