Under The Umbrella Of Justice

(When I am in college, I walk from my apartment to campus. On this particular day, it is raining fairly hard, so I’ve brought an umbrella, and since there is an umbrella stand near the entrance to one particular building I am going to, I choose to leave it in the stand rather than dragging it around with me. After I get done with class, I am coming back when I spot someone pulling my umbrella out of the rack.)

Me: “Hey! That’s actually mine!”

(The person turned to look at me before bolting through the doors, out into the still-pouring rain, not even opening the umbrella. They got about ten feet before tripping and falling on their face, then scrambling to their feet and keeping on running. The umbrella only cost me about ten dollars, and I did have to walk home in the rain after that, but I considered the slam to the hard pavement they had when they tripped to probably be sufficient punishment.)