Unconvinced About Your Convincing

(It is Thanksgiving, and I’m visiting my parent’s house for the holiday. I’m 26 and my mother and I don’t always get along. I’ve been attempting to preempt any fights all day. After dinner is finished:)

Me: “Hey, mom, [Brother] and I didn’t help cook; why don’t you let us clean?”

Mom: “No, no, I want it done a certain way.”

Me: “Really, mom, let me and [Brother] handle it. I don’t mind; I want to help.”

Mom: “No, really, you’re a guest. Just let me handle it. I want the china done a certain way.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I’ve now offered twice. You can’t get mad at me later for not being helpful today.”

Mom: “Yeah, it’s fine. I just want to do it.”

(Fast-forward a couple hours, and we’re fighting over an unrelated issue.)

Mom: “Well, maybe I would be in a better mood if you’d helped at all today!”

Me: “What are you talking about! I offered twice to help you! You turned me down!”

Mom: “I don’t remember that at all.”

Me: “I have witnesses!”

Dad: “She did try and help twice and you promised to not get angry.”

Mom: *getting rather huffy* “Well you didn’t try to convince me to let you help HARD ENOUGH!”

(Needless to say, I’m skipping Christmas.)