Unable To Deliver On That Promise

(I work in the deli section of a store located near an attractions district, where an entertainment company known for its mouse mascot has a strong presence. Today, we get a phone call.)

Me: “Deli department. [My Name] speaking. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. I have your party platter menu here and I’d like to order a supreme sandwich platter and a large wing platter.”

Me: *filling out the order form* “All right, just give me one moment to take that down… and your total will be [amount]. Now I just need a little information. Your name, please, ma’am?”

Caller: “[Caller].”

Me: “And when will you be coming to pick up the order?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t want to pick it up. I want it delivered to my room at [Fancy Hotel owned by Mouse Company].”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, we don’t make deliveries.”

Caller: “Don’t be ridiculous. The [Fancy Hotel] brochure clearly states that room service is available 24/7.”

Me: “Well, they’re probably talking about from their own food service department, ma’am. This is [Grocery Store].”

Caller: “I am QUITE AWARE of whom I am speaking to. The hotel promises room service, and that’s what I want. Now, I want you to deliver my order to [room] at [Fancy Hotel] by five pm tomorrow, or I will file a complaint with hotel management!”

Me: “Once again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we don’t make deliveries. We are not affiliated with [Fancy Hotel] in any way.”

Caller: “OF COURSE YOU ARE! [Mouse Company] owns everything around here! You said your name was [Name similar to mine]? Well, I am going to personally make sure [Mouse Company] FIRES YOU!”

Me: “Well, I hope you’ll tell [Mouse Company] how sorry I am for the inconvenience.”