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Unable To Be Per-suede-d When They’re Being Outrageous

, , , | Right | December 2, 2018

(I am an assistant manager for a comfort footwear company.)

Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, I would like to exchange my [Brand]s for a different pair. I can’t remember what they’re called, and I don’t quite remember when I bought them. I know you have records of this, though; look it up for me!”

(I go to look up her records, but our system has been down all day. Our physical records only go back two months, and I cannot find her name or order.)

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot find your records in my store, as they only go back so far, and I would be happy to look them up in my system, but it’s been acting up all day and I cannot access it. Can you please tell me anything you remember about your boots so I can see if they are still available to order or if I have them in my store?”

Customer: “Why is your system down?”

Me: “I don’t know. We have been having terrible weather; perhaps—”

Customer: “You guys need to fix it! My boots were brown.”

Me: “Okay… Anything else? Many of our boots are brown.”

(We hardly have any boots in this brand left, anyhow, and I am almost positive we don’t have her style left. She keeps giving me one-word answers, all the time pointedly sighing about how affected she is.)

Customer: “I don’t know why this has to be difficult… I’ve got the shoe box right next to me with the name of the shoe.”

Me: *face palms* “That’s very helpful! What is the name of the shoe?”

(Her shoe has been sold out in our store for at least a month and is no longer available to order in her size in any color. I tell her this, being apologetic and recognizing her frustration.)

Customer: “When are you going to get more? I need new ones! What am I going to do?”

Me: “Since they are all sold out, you may be able to find a replacement on the brand’s general website, or check our other stores in the hopes that one has come back. Do you mind if I ask why you’d like the exchange? Is the shoe damaged?”

Customer: “The suede is two different colors on the boots! I can see it! The right one is lighter than the left one! Everyone says they can’t see it but they’re just so different!”

Question of the Week

What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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