Unable To Account For Their Behavior

Patron: “I would like to transfer all of my money, please, to my new bank — a bank that actually treats its clientele with dignity and respect.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear you are unhappy with our services. If you could please—“

(She interrupts me with a rant about how unfair we have been with her, and how she has never been so disrespected and publicly humiliated. I apologise several times and try to steer the conversation back to the transfer. After nearly fifteen minutes of her wailing on me…)

Patron: “Well, what are you waiting for? Transfer my money and close your shameful excuse for an account!”

(Another rant follows.)

Patron: “I’ve been here for nearly half an hour. How long is this meant to take?!”

Me: “I haven’t been able to start. I need your name and the details of your new bank and account.”

Patron: “Why on earth do you need that?!”

Me: “How else am I meant to know which account you’re referring to, and where to send your money?”

(She grunted, looked around for a second, and left. To my knowledge, she has never been back, and even if she went through HQ to close her account, we would have received the instruction from them, as our policies mean only the branch can close the account. It’s been five months!)