Unable To Flush That Imagery From Your Mind

, , , , | Friendly | December 28, 2017

(I am waiting for a table outside of a popular restaurant with my friends. A couple in their early 20s comes up and signs the register to queue for a table as well. While they’re waiting, they start talking together about various things. Most of the conversation is pretty normal and boring, until…)

Woman: “I just hate public toilets.”

Man: “Oh, I know. There’s just always some slob who hasn’t cleaned up after themselves.”

Woman: “Uh. No. I meant the seats.”

Man: “What? Like that thing about women not sitting and they pee everywhere?”

Woman: “No! Someone is always closing the toilet seats!”

Man: “What?”

Woman: “You know how there’s a lid? Someone always closes it, and then I have to open it and touch the filthy lid. And it’s just. Ugh.”

Man: “Oh.”

Woman: “Yeah.”

Man: “But you’re supposed to close it so the bacteria doesn’t spray everywhere when you flush. My mum used to chew me out about that every time I didn’t.”

Woman: “Well, at home, sure. That’s your own toilet. In public toilets, I just don’t flush.”

Man: “Oh, my God! You’re one of those?”

Woman: *offended* “What?!”

Man: *laughing* “You’re one of the people that I was talking about, who doesn’t flush after they leave a brick in the bowl. F***, you’re nasty!”

Woman: “You’re disgusting!”

Man: “Says the person who doesn’t flush, and probably doesn’t wash her hands after, either!”

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