Un-Lease Hell

, , , , | Working | January 15, 2014

(I manage a small apartment building. A tenant sends me an email hypothetically asking what the penalty for early termination of the lease is. As we have done different things for different people in the past, I decide to call the owners to ask what they want to do.)

Me: “Hypothetically speaking, what is the penalty for a loft tenant breaking their lease? [Tenant] was inquiring because his job has the potential to take him away from here, so he would like to know just in case.”

Owner: “I don’t have a lease in front of me, but I think the penalty is a $10,000 fine and 20 years in a supermax prison.”

Me: “Haha! So I guess the plan is to have [Different Tenant who is breaking her lease next week] arrested once she hands over the keys? Thanks for telling me so I won’t be surprised when the FBI comes rushing in from all directions.”

Owner: “No problem. Just don’t forget to wear your body armor, and remember the secret password. It’s ‘bull-s***.’”

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