Un-Fee-sably Expensive

(I have a flight to the US on this airline booked for early this year. I have been trying to reserve an exit row seat — one of the ones that costs a ludicrous amount of money to reserve — since late 2018, to no avail. After another failed attempt, I decide to call the airline. I explain the problem…)

Agent: “What’s your booking reference?”

Me: “It’s [booking reference]. That’s Z for ‘zebra,’ A for’ anaconda,’ P for ‘panther’…”

Agent: “Hold on, hold on, hold on. Your booking reference will be six letters. What are the six letters? “

Me: “They’re [booking reference], but I—“

Agent: “Okay, and can you spell those out with words for me, honey?”

Me: “That’s what I was doing, but okay.”

(I spell it out. She corrects me to the “right” words to spell out letters, because I just made them up as I went along, but I decide to ignore it; it doesn’t bother me.)

Agent: “So, it looks like you’ve booked with an external company, so there’ll be an extra $80 fee for selecting a seat for your flight.”

Me: “Oh. Okay, well, I’m not paying that on top of the fee for the seat, so I’ll wait until the airport. Thanks for your help, bye!”

(I try to hang up, but she keeps talking, rushing to get in extra words before I can hang up.)

Agent: “But if you’d booked with us, first, there wouldn’t be that fee.”

Me: “Oh. Well, but I didn’t, though.”

Agent: “Yes, but if you had, you would be saving $80.”

Me: “Well, yes, but that doesn’t really help me at all, because I didn’t. Thank you again for your help. I’m going to hang up now. Goodbye.”

Agent: “Okay, but—“

(I hung up.)