Ultra Low Intelligence Zone
London has an ‘Ultra Low Emission Zone’ in the city centre. This means vehicles that produce emissions from gasoline have to pay a daily fee to drive inside the zone, whereas electric vehicles are exempt. the zone is just free to drive in, however, everything else associated with car costs is the same.
I work in a multi-story car park, and I have noticed from some security cameras that a car has stopped at the exit, refusing to move. There’s a line of cars building behind it, with all the angry horn-honking you’d expect. I hurry over to see what’s up.
Driver: “Why am I being charged to exit?!”
Me: “Because you parked here, sir. You need to pay before the barriers rise and let you exit.”
Driver: “Are you blind?! I’m in a Tesla!”
Me: “I don’t see what difference that would make.”
Driver: “It’s an electric car! It’s exempt! I don’t pay!”
Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t the case, sir. If you parked, you pay, regardless of the model of your car.”
Driver: “This is central London!”
Me: “It is.”
Driver: “So we’re inside the ‘Ultra Low Emission Zone’!”
Me: *Realisation hitting.* “Ah, I see what you’re getting at. That just means it’s free for you to drive around central London. It doesn’t exempt you from paying for parking spaces.”
Driver: “No! Electric vehicles are exempt for paying! I saw it on the BBC! You need to let me out now!”
Me: “Sir, I don’t know what you saw on the BBC, but the policy of this private car park is that all vehicles pay, whether they’re electric or not. You need to pay the amount in the machine before you can exit and I would ask you to do it now because there is a line of vehicles building behind you and they don’t seem as patient as I’m being.”
Driver: “I’m not paying! Open this gate or no one is leaving!”
Me: “Sir, I could open this gate and let you go, but then we’d have your car and license plate recorded as leaving without paying. We’d then forward that information to the police, who would then charge you with stealing and I can guarantee that would be much more headache than paying right now.”
Driver: “I didn’t steal anything! I… am driving… a Tesla! I can park anywhere I like!”
It’s then I notice a reasonable-sized pile of papers on his passenger seat.
Me: “Is that why you have all those parking fines?”
Driver: “These aren’t fines! Just stupid parking inspector who don’t know what a Tesla is! Now let me out!”
I warned him one last time that if I let him out, I would report him and his car to the police but he just repeated that he was in a Tesla so that gave him some kind of vehicular diplomatic immunity I guess? I let him out for the sake of the other drivers stuck behind him and forwarded his info to the police. I hope he has fun paying all those parking fines!
