Uber Eats Meets Uber Stupid

, , , , , | Working | October 28, 2020

This takes place before the health crisis. I’ve placed an order online with a nearby diner-style restaurant and driven there to pick it up. When I enter, I see a couple of teenage employees dashing back and forth behind the counter. When they see me, they place an order bag on the counter and go back to dashing around. I look inside the bag to discover that it’s not my order.

Me: “Uh, hey. Excuse me.”

Teenager #1: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “This isn’t what I ordered.”

Teenager #2: “That’s the [Delivery Service #1] order.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not what I ordered.”

Teenager #1: “Oh, did your client change their order? We didn’t get a notice about that.”

Me: “What client?”

Teenager #2: *In a “duh” voice* “The person who ordered the food.”

Me: “I ordered the food.”

Teenager #1: “Wait, you’re not with [Delivery Service #1]?”

Me: “No.”

Teenager #1: “Oh, man! Haha! Sorry about that.”

He takes the bag back and hands me a different bag. I’m looking inside it to see if this one is the correct order but he saves me the time.

Teenager #1: “There’s the [Delivery Service #2] order.”

I take my head out of the bag and hand it back to him.

Me: “No, I’m not with [Delivery Service #2], either.”

Teenager #2: “Are you with [Delivery Service #3]? [DeliveryService #4]?”

Me: “No.”

Teenager #1: “[Delivery Service #5]? [Delivery Service #6]?”

Me: “No!”

Teenager #2: “Then which delivery service are you with?”

Me: “I’m not with any delivery service!”

They stare at me, confused and slightly disgusted like I just started picking my nose in full view.

Teenager #1: “Then what are you doing here?”

Me: “I ordered food for myself. I paid for it myself. I came here to get it myself. And I’m going to take it home and eat it myself.”

They look at each other, still confused.

Teenager #1: “Are they, like, allowed to do that?”

Teenager #2: “I dunno, dude. I never heard of that before. Maybe we should call the boss man.”

Me: “Yeah, you do that. Call your boss man and tell him to bring my money with him.”

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