U Of Poo

Me: “Office of Residential Life. How can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I wanted to ask you questions about your dorms.”

Me: “Sure, I can tell you about every residential hall on campus. What would you like to know?”

Woman: “Do they have elevators?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, all our buildings are multiple floors and fully ADA compliant.”

Woman: “So they have stairs too?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “And what about bathrooms? Do all the buildings have bathrooms?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “On each floor, even the ones with classrooms?”

Me: “Well, yes, I believe so.”

Woman: “That’s good, because my son has explosive diarrhea, and he must be near a bathroom at all times.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “Which dorm do you think he should live in?”

Me: “Um….try [random hall name].”

Woman: “Thank you!”