U Must Be Kidding

, , , | Right | June 5, 2017

(While confirming certain information with our customers, it is normal to use the phonetic alphabet to ensure all letters are correct – alpha, bravo, charlie, etc.)

Customer: “‘B’ as in boy, ‘R’ as in rabbit, ‘U’ as in eulogy…”

Me: “…”

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  • tulip_poplar

    Some people aren’t great spellers, or they might have just had a brain hiccup. Plus “u” as in “eulogy” does get the point across. It might have even been a bit of a joke.

    • Bonnie L

      I vote for brain hiccup. I still remember trying to write something that started with the letter “f” as “ef.” What made it stick in my mind was that my 6 yr old corrected me. 🙂

  • No Days Off

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

  • Abigail Hermione Irwin

    Spelling is obviously not their long shot. Still, they tried. 🙂

  • Westrim

    Oh god, they verbally misspelled a word in passing! WOE! WOE IS INDEED THY NAME! I HEAP LAMENTATIONS FOR HUMANITY UPON THEE AND GNASH MY TEETH IN DESPAIR!

    • Richard Da Bunny

      Is that sarcasm? So subtle.

    • Andipants26

      …or just chuckle at a mildly amusing anecdote and move on with your life?

  • Stephen

    I remember reading about someone who regularly uses their own version, just to make life “interesting” for the person they are talking to over the phone

    “P as in Pneumatic, K as in Knowledge”, etc

    • Dsru Bin

      E as in eye
      S as in see
      C as in cue

      • Harold George Wagner III

        A as in are
        Y as in you

    • Tiffany Tyler

      T as in Pterodactyl

    • Ophelia

      “Interesting” as in annoying, I take it.

    • Mike

      Yeah, I think that’s a Brian Regan routine.

  • Kitty

    Sing it with me, kids. A, B, C, D, E, F, G… uh… how I wonder what you are.

    • Dsru Bin

      One for the Master and one for the Dame…W, X, Y and Z. Twinkle twinkle have you any wool? Next time won’t you sing bags full?

      • SylviasDaddy

        When my daughter was a baby, her favorite toy was a cream-colored plush lamb, which her mother named “Miss Sheepy.”

        I would have Miss Sheepy dance while I sang (to Mozart’s “Air With Three Variations on an Old Nursery Tune”):

        Baa, baa, cream sheep –have you any wool?
        Yes, sir, yes, sir — four bags full.
        One for the money, two for the show,
        Three to get ready, and four to go —
        Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
        What you say is what you are!
        MMMWAH! (Miss Sheepy kisses her)

        (NOTE: My daughter is grown and married, and Miss Sheepy is still her constant companion!)

  • Ophelia

    Must have recently had to deal with the loss of their pet boy rabbit.

    (I’ve had to spell things over the phone a lot, so I committed myself to memorizing the NATO Phonetic Alphabet (the alpha-bravo-charlie one). I’ve had zero issues ever since any time I’ve used it.)

  • Dhoonib

    When I worked retail I would use the NATO alphabet when talking to customers on the phone. I once had someone read out a string of letters and I repeated what I heard using the NATO alphabet I got something like this back:

    Customer: No, B as in dog.
    Me: B as in Bravo or boy or D as in Delta or Dog?
    Customer: B as in Bog, you know like a swamp but with a B.

    • Harold George Wagner III

      Who thinks ‘bog’ is a common word? Sure, it’s not uncommon, but clearly dog is far more common.

      • Dhoonib

        The part that always annoyed me was when I when I would use B as in Bravo and the customer would agree and say yeah B as in Boy.
        As for this though I have no idea why the guy would use Bog. Especially since the point of phonetic words is clarity. But I dealt with some crazy people.

  • Rebekah

    I once had “e as in umbrella”.

    • Cody Ranney

      Maybe they had a strong accent?

  • Steven Duhon

    K – Knife
    M – Mnemonic
    P – Pneumatic

    • Megalodon

      Makes me wanna gnash my teeth.

      • Harold George Wagner III

        Who do you think you are

  • KashyaCharsi

    As long as it’s correct, why does it need to be the pilot alphabet?

    • arglebargle

      Seriously, we need a “not always commenting” or something. The whole point was that it wasn’t right, ya doof. “Eulogy” doesn’t begin with “u.”

      • Kirishima Touka

        Admins! Next idea!

  • TheSeventhBrat

    That poor little boy bunny gonna have a nice funeral tho.

  • Zorua

    When they die, everyone spell it that way. 😛

  • Darlene Keebaugh

    I’ve had several interesting/frustrating interactions with the Nato alphabet. One was a customer that told me no, it was not “F as in Foxtrot,” it was “F”. “So, S as in Sierra?” “No, F.” If it’s not F as in Foxtrot, or S in Sierra, Please use it in a word so I will know which letter you are saying.” “F as in Frank!” Another went round and round, B/Bravo, C/Charlie, V/Victor, Z/Zulu, and finally settled on Z, as in Xylophone. The letter in question was actually X.

  • Denton Young

    “P” as in Filipino…

    • RallyLock

      That one is actually pretty understandable. Most people see “Philippines” and automatically assume it should be “Philippino” – or vice versa, with “Filipino/Filippines”.

  • SylviasDaddy

    On a kiddo show in the San Francisco Bay Area in the mid-1960s, a little boy was asked to name a vegetable beginning with Q.
    He got upset when his answer was denied: CUCUMBER …

  • Bel-Shamharoth

    Ok, but there is a ‘u’ in “eulogy”, and you clearly understood the word they were trying to say, so you could apparently understand the sound that sounds identical to the pronunciation of the letter. I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think the customers logic was unfounded, even if they weren’t actually thinking like that.

  • Trihan

    “G for gnome” was the best one I got in my telesales job.

    • Samantha Peterson Hartman

      We like to use “J, as in jalapeno.”

    • Shinyo

      I once had a man with a thick indian accent say “L as in Elephant.”

  • arglebargle

    World’s worst phonetic alphabet:
    Aeneid/Aisle
    Chthonic
    Eulogy
    Gnaw
    Honest
    Juan
    Knife
    Llewellyn
    Mnemonic
    Pterodactyl
    Qatar
    Write
    Xmas
    Ytterbium

    • Hahn Ackles

      I’m now honestly curious how Llewellyn is pronounced… XD

  • Kirishima Touka

    I always make up the ones I don’t know, or if i blank on the spot. One time I could not, for my life, remember V. Ended up saying “Velociraptor”.

    Joke of it is, I had literally said Victor for something else about 20 seconds before this. I was so embarrassed lol

  • Ali T 1

    I work in a call centre too. My favourite ever phonetic from a customer was K as in Carrot. I now have a piece of paper with a list of non-standard phonetics. I know it’s probably mean but it does brighten up a rubbish day on occasion.

  • bahknee

    At one job, my boss was on the phone with some sort of tech support, and he was trying to give the code letters of the establishment. He kept saying, “Y as in you.” I didn’t say anything because it was my boss, but seriously, how do you repeatedly say that aloud and not realize how that is confusing? I loved that boss, but that was not one of his brightest moments.

  • Dragon Nexus

    G…for Gnome.

  • Tänya Kirkle

    Bruh…