Two Timing In Two Seconds

(My friend’s friend has been trying to get my attention for around four months. I can offer no excuses for myself aside from that I cannot take hints. We are out with friends at a rock club, and our mutual friend had told me at the beginning of the evening that his friend is going to ask me out. Five hours later, though, nothing has happened. It is 3 am and we have left the club, I see him walking up the road so I chase him.)

Me: “Hey! Uh, so… how was your day?”

Him: “It was okay.”

Me: “Anything exciting happen?”

Him: “I had a fry-up.” *thinks for a second* “It was a good fry-up.”

Me: “Uhm…”

Him: “Also, [mutual friend] said that he’d break my legs if I didn’t ask you out.”

Me: “Well. I guess you’d better get on with it then.”

Him: “Do… you want to go out sometime?”

Me: “That’d be great. Yes.”

(I take his arm and we continue up the street.)

Him: “Well, that was easier than I thought.”

(At this point, another of our friends, who is very, very drunk, runs up and grabs my now-boyfriend’s other arm.)

Drunk friend: “Oi! I want an arm! I love you [boyfriend’s name]!”

Him: “Hey, [drunk friend’s name]! Wanna go out sometime?”

Drunk friend: “Yeah man! I love you!”

Him: “See! So much easier than I thought! Who else can I ask?”