Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Jerks

(I am a student who works in a pub part-time, while helping to run events for a student club which we book out a different pub for. All the club’s events are free and anyone can come along, so it’s different people every time, and all of us organising are volunteers. This week we’re showing a film. Two guys I’ve never seen before arrive and decide to put their drinks down on the edge of a half folded-up ping pong table that’s in the corner. There are many other tables around which they could have used. The owners of the pub have put it in the corner because it has broken and mentioned it in passing to those of us who were there early, but these two seemingly aren’t aware. I walk past the table just as the drinks are collapsing; the two pints fall to the floor and go everywhere.)

Me: “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry; I didn’t realise anyone had put drinks there!”

Jerk #1: *angrily* “What the h***?! That was a full pint!”

Jerk #2: “What the f***?!”

Me: “Yeah, I think the table was broken. Sorry, I didn’t see you put drinks there. I’m just going to go get something to clear this up.”

(I go to the bar and say what happened, and they give me a bucket and mop and apologise for not talking to the other two about the table being broken. I talk to the other person running the event with me and we decide that once the drinks are cleared up we’ll buy them new ones out of our limited funds, as it wasn’t really anyone’s fault but we want to be nice. I go over and set the mop and bucket up and the two guys come over looking angry. They keep muttering to each other angrily about their drinks still. The bar gives us subsidised prices and these are very cheap drinks; we’re talking £1.90ish a pint.)

Me: *to the jerks* “Yeah, sorry, the bar staff said that the table was broken; that’s why it was in the corner. It must’ve just collapsed when your drinks were put on it.”

(They don’t respond, so I just start mopping up the spilt beer and squeezing it into the bucket.)

Jerk #1: “Oh, my God, she can’t even clean up properly!”

Jerk #2: “F****** h***!”

Me: *looks up at them with an eyebrow raised*

Jerk #2: *condescendingly* “You know that’s not how you mop, right?”

Jerk #1: *also condescendingly* “Yeah, you’re meant to get the water from the bucket with the mop and use that for the mess.”

Me: “Well, it makes sense to remove all the excess liquid first; then I’ll clean it properly afterward.”

Jerk #1: “No, you clean it with the soapy water, not just mix the beer around on the floor.”

Me: “That is not what I’m doing; I’m soaking it up first rather than adding more liquid and then I will clean it with soapy water afterward.”

Jerk #1: “Mopping isn’t that hard to work out; you use the soapy water and the mop to clean, not the beer.”

Me: “I literally work in a bar and do this all the time. If there’s a lot of split liquid, it makes sense to clear that up before cleaning the floor.”

(I finish mopping up the beer into one bucket, and then I start using clean water from another to clean the floor. They keep muttering and laughing to each other about how “stupid” I am while just standing there watching me.)

Me: “Do you want to do it, then? It’s not like this was my fault. I’m just cleaning it to be nice.”

(They continued laughing and walked away. The other organiser and I decided not to buy them replacement drinks after all, but he did get me a much-needed drink. The two guys continued being rude and muttering throughout the film and annoying everyone else there, but thankfully, they never came back.)