Two Ounces Of Coffee, Less Than An Ounce Of Sense

(I work as a barista. One day, a woman I’ve never seen before enters the café.)

Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like to try some of your coffee.”

Me: “Sure, will that be a drip coffee, or–“

Customer: “I want coffee, but I don’t want to buy it. I just want a sample.”

Me: “If you’d just like a taste, I can give you a sample of our drip coffee in our two-ounce cup.”

(I hold up the cup so the customer can see.)

Customer: “No, I want a sample but in that size cup!” *points to our regular-size paper cups*

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only do free samples in the two-ounce cups. Did you still want the sample?”

(The customer huffs and puffs but finally agrees, and I pour the sample for her. She takes the cup and then makes her way to the self-serve area where the cream and sugar are kept. I watch with curiosity — which soon turns into dumbfoundedness — as this woman takes a sip of her tiny sample of coffee to make room, and then pours half-and-half into it, then another sip, and then pouring some more half-and-half, etc. After drinking her coffee in this fashion for at least twenty repetitions of sipping and diluting her sample, she marches back to the register, face flushed with anger.)

Customer: *slamming the cup down on the counter* “I demand you remake me a free cup of coffee! This one was disgusting!”

Me: “That can happen when you pour twenty creamers into a two-ounce cup of coffee.”

Customer: *storms out, shouting profanities*