Twinstigating Trouble

(My cousin is only six months pregnant, but since she’s having twins, she looks further along than she is. I take her out to lunch one day and this exchange occurs.)

Waiter: “Hi, ladies.” *to my cousin* “Wow, you must be ready to pop any day, huh?”

My Cousin: *laughs* “No, actually, but I’m having twins, so I’m a little bigger than normal.”

Waiter: “Ah, I see. So, what can I get—”

(Suddenly, the customer at the next table rudely interrupts us.)

Rude Customer: “Bulls***! It’s women like you always craving attention that make people hate females!”

Me: *to waiter* “To answer your question, you can get that woman away from us.”

Waiter: “That can be arranged!”

(The customer was kicked out, and we got a discount on our meal!)